Fragile Desires

The beauty of winter was deadly. It portrayed purity and innocence within the serene beauty of it, alluring you in to bask in its frozen wonders.

With each passing season I failed to see the same magic that came with winter. Despite my body's ability to ignore the cold I still loved its chilling presence.

Waking up to the once bare trees and the ground that's only sign of life were the left over brownish and yellow leaves from autumn, to everything completely covered in a thick glistening blanket of fresh snow. Reviving the life of the world once again.

Nowhere was left untouched from the frozen spell. Going outside instantly stained my pale cheeks a shade of pink as the bitter cold caressed my skin.

I loved the crunching beneath my feet as I stepped onto the fresh blank canvas of snow. I almost felt guilty for ruining the art that nature had so graciously created.

I loved winter but it did not love me. So, I was dreading the weeks to come. Winter was well on its way only a few weeks until it arrived again.

The small hut I had lived in for a few years now did very little to keep the cold out. Living within the mountains meant the weather went to below freezing throughout the winter.

The small self—made fireplace worked hard to heat up the small hut. Crackling and popping throughout the night but still the cold made my frail body shiver. The blankets I had acquired over the year's barley made a difference on the worst nights.

I spent most of winter ill and sleep deprived. Never once being able to sleep through the sound of my teeth chattering together.

The only relief that winter offered me was that the Alpha would leave me be for most of it. Knowing I'm suffering without him having to lift a finger seemed to satisfy him and his need to torture.

The cold season didn't bother the wolves. Their bodies were built to deal with the freezing temperatures the mountains had to offer.

You would often see them walking around with little clothing. The males mostly walked around with their bare torsos on display. Allowing the cold to touch every part of their exposed skin. Not once encouraging their bodies to shiver or goosebumps to form.

Their bare feet would sink beneath the cold snow with every step they took. Every time I witnessed it, I winced at the possible pain it would cause me if I ever tried to do the same.

I don't know how I came to live in 'The Mount Rise Pack' the first and last time I asked I ended up in the pack's hospital for three weeks.

I don't know why they were so against me attempting to find out where I came from. They despised my entire existence you would think they would want to cart me of. However, it seemed their life's mission was to ensure mine was to live with Torment and pain.

The wolves had different takes on me. Some would act as if I was completely invisible disregarding my existence all together. They thought themselves the kinder ones.

Most would go out of their way to Torment me with hurtful words, Ive learned to block them out most of the time regardless of the emotional sting it would leave. Or they would hurt me, marking my body permanently with the scars of their hate.

I could never decide which one was worse. Either way they proved their case that I don't belong here. They proved I would never be a part of their precious pack. I was an outsider a complete outcast to them.

The emotional scars ran deeper than any physical ones that littered my weak body that I was certain of.

I used to believe it was the alphas doing I still do. How else would you explain the misplaced hatred in their eyes each time they glanced my way?

After all he was the worst of them all. He was the complete reason I lived the way I did. He was the reason I suffered; he was the one who decided this would be my life. He held control that's why he never realised the mistake he had made.

I had been allowed to attend the packs school along with the wolves. Another accomplished attempt from Alpha Larsen. To keep me completely isolated and alone.