Failed Love

I don't know what happened, I said in my mind as I stare apathetically to both of my hands, full of dirt which came on the ground I'm running into earlier.

Why am I running? Why?

Why did I ran? Why?

I don't know, I don't know what happened. This was all the words that kept going and going before and when I got outside of my house. I got permission from my parents to go outside for fun yet it was a lie. Where was the lie? Well, the word 'fun' was the lie. I was not going to have fun, I don't need to, I don't know what the word "fun" means, especially what it feels like.

I walked like how a normal person would walk in the streets but, as I arrived to the town, my body ran all by itself without no hesitation. I kept running and running tears slowly falling down on my face. The loop of I don't knows was added with What am I crying for? Why am I crying for? What? Why? Is this all I could say? What and why?

I don't know, I don't know, I clearly don't know! Clearly? But I didn't know? What the heck is this Kanaze? I don't understand me at all!

This was expected to happen ever since from the start I decided to put this as a dream in my life. I know this would happen, even if I the probability is low and the risks are high. Why? Again. Why the unfairness is superior and justice is inferior? There must be something wrong to the creation of this world and life, mainly on the rules and more importantly, on the systems used.