FORBIDDEN KISS

"Quit being stupid, Lillian."? My husband George always says when I accuse him of cheating.?

Which seems to be a lot these days.? Matter of fact, I can't remember the last time we saw eye to eye on anything or even made love.? Hell, it must have been years since he has touched me.? No wonder why I stare at good looking men when I see one.

Shaking my head, I look at my messages on Idgit.? Noticing that I have a new friend request, I look closer and feel excited at the prospect of a new friend.? I wonder where this one is from.??

Clicking on the name Jordan Hill, it brings up a picture of a handsome man in his 30's and for some reason he looks familiar.? Deciding to take a chance, I click the accept button and wait to see if he messages me.? After a few minutes, I leave and figure that he will be one of my many friends who never talks to me.?

Oh well, I can always use another friend to add to my social circle.? It makes my pages more interesting, and I often get friendship requests from all around the world.? Originally, I set up an account on Idgit to connect with my family, because most of them still live in my hometown.? As soon as I graduated high school, I left and went to college.? Liking the city, I stayed and never went back.??

One night, a friend hooked me up with a nice guy or so I thought, and I got pregnant the first date.? When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know what to do.? I was a freshman in college and if my dad would have found out, he would have disowned me.??

Appealing to George, I asked him to help me, and he came up with a plan.? Since we were both against abortion, the only thing we could do is get married.? What I didn't know at the time was he was only interested in marrying me for my money.

A year later, after Kelly was born, he asked my dad for money to start his company.? Majoring in Business, he got his degree the following year and then continued his work building his company.? Never home, he didn't seem to care that I was lonely and wanted more.??

Now that it is 17 years later, not much has changed except he is here even less than he was before.??

Surprisingly, this is one of the rare occasions he is home.? Making dinner, I think back to when I had a life.? In high school, I was popular, and everyone liked me.? I wasn't like the normal cheerleaders who slept with everyone and were stuck up as hell.? Instead, I enjoyed reading books and got straight A's.??

In college, I was on the Dean's list for my first year, that is until I got pregnant and had to quit.? It's really a shame, because I was going to become the first McMasters to graduate with a degree.? Enrolled in the Medical program, I aspired to be a pediatrician, so I guess it was fitting that getting pregnant put a halt to all my dreams.?

I was a virgin till that night.? Of course, it wasn't for men not trying.? With my long legs, pale skin, and silky long blonde hair, I always had guys hitting on me.? They referred to me as Barbie at parties and their favorite pickup lines were, I want to be your Ken.

When Kelly was born, I was in heaven.? Her beautiful big round eyes made me fall in love with her the second I saw them. Everyone couldn't stop talking about how much she looked like me.? Even now, it is the consensus that she is my younger twin.

For years, I lived solely for her, until she found friends and never had time for me anymore.? About four years after we had Kelly, I started to notice that George was never around.? I would find lipstick stains on his shirts and phone numbers in his pants pockets.? The sad fact is he didn't even seem to care that i knew.

Always fighting, we decided to have another child and see if it would bring us closer together.? When Jon was born, it just drove us farther apart though.? I had my baby and George had an excuse to stay later and later to work.?

Sometimes he would never come home at all, so when I started accusing him of cheating, he laughed it off and kept doing it.? This is the way it has been for so many years, I don't care to count anymore.??

Snapping out of it, I hear my phone ding and pull it out of my pocket.? Jordan messaged me, "Hello there.? I know this is weird, but did you go to Serenity High?? You look awfully familiar?"??

Thinking the exact same thing, I type back.? "Yes, of my gosh.? I knew you looked familiar.? I was Lillian McDonald before I got married."? Just at that moment, I remembered.

I had a huge crush on Jordan in high school.? How could I have forgotten my first love?? He was always nice to me but didn't ever seem to be interested.?

Once, I almost got up enough courage to ask him out but chickened out at the last minute.? My girlfriends all laughed at me and told me that he wouldn't ever go out with me anyways.? Everyone said he was only interested in girls who put out.

Jordan, being the general badass of the school, always got in trouble and was kicked out before we all graduated.? So as far as I know, he never did.? It's a shame really, because he was smart, just often misunderstood.? I remember a couple times when we chatted about a book, we had both read.

"Lillian McDonald.? Yes, I remember you.? Matter of fact, I almost asked you out once, but your friends told me that you didn't want to have anything to do with troublemakers.? Just after that I was kicked out for good, so I guess it didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.? So, what ever happened to you?