Constant Crave

"ARE you sure about your decision?" it is obvious in the tone of Jenny's mother Rowena that she is worried as the young lady distracted herself by packing some personal belongings that she would bring on her trip.  

Jenny nodded then stared at her mother for a moment before continuing what she is doing.   

"I will be away for a while. About two weeks, maybe enough time to let go of the resentment that I feel right now," she said with a bitter smile that cracked her lips afterward.  

That was when her mother grabbed her hand and then gently squeezed it. "I know you are blaming yourself. But I should tell you, you are also a victim of everything that happened," she said meaningfully as she stared into her eyes.  

Because of what her mother did, the corners of her both eyes quickly heated up until she finally burst into tears. Rowena hugged her quickly and not long until she felt the gentle caress on her back.  

"Everything will be fine you’ll see. I’m happy that you also thought of taking a vacation. Somehow that will help you to feel okay again,” she said then released her and looked at her with a smile. 

"Everything is not hopeless for you sweetheart. You are beautiful and smart, you have a good and successful business, you will find the man you deserve," her mother advised her, but Jenny chose not to respond to her mother's words.  

The young lady agrees with what her mother told her.   

But maybe because of everything that just happened recently, she could still feel inside her that she is still hurting. And that is the very reason why she decided to leave Manila to have a vacation in a beautiful and peaceful place like Baguio City.  

“If you think you need or you want to extend your vacation there is no problem with that. What is important to me is for you to be okay,” her mother continues.  

Jenny simply nodded to what her mother has said. , 

“I will ask the maid to prepare lunch already. Or maybe it is much better if I will be the one to cook for you this time? What do you think?”  

With the gentleness in her voice, Jenny was unable to resist herself by making eye contact with her mother.  

Jenny quickly felt the heat of both corners of her eyes once again because of that, until it didn't take long for her tears to flow.  

“Mama,” she said in almost a whisper then hugged her mother tightly afterward.  

That was when her mother caressed her back again. She is lucky that despite everything Rowena is still able to understand her.   

She did not like everything that happened and that is the truth. Because in fact for less than a year she did not think that the man she considered her boyfriend was married and had a child. In other words, she became a mistress.  

That's right, she doesn't know but she was a mistress. And she is angry not only with Ryan but even more with herself. Because he was able to fool her without even realizing it.   

Jenny met Ryan at a seminar that she attended in Batangas more than a year ago.   

He was the manager at the hotel where the seminar was held.   

Ryan was kind so it was not difficult for her to trust him. Something she did not do easily because she also saw her mother's experience with her father.   

Because like her, her mother Rowena was also a victim of her father who introduced himself as a single but the truth is that, it’s the other way around.  

She is an illegitimate child.   

And because she did not want to follow in her mother's footprints just as Rowena often reminded her, she became very conservative.   

But she failed to fulfill that thing, because when she was in college, there was a man she loved so much and that she was able to give her virginity to him.   

"Tell me the truth Jennifer, did something happen to you and Ryan?" when her mother stared straight into her eyes.   

Jenny quickly shook her head. "Nothing," she said truthfully.   

Apart from the man whom she gave her virginity to when she was still in college, she never had a boyfriend until Ryan. But unlike what happened before, this time she did not allow anything to happen between her and the latter.  

Something she is now very grateful for.