Crudus Violins

And be with him.

What makes me happy now will hurt him later.

But i can't help it.

I'll definitely go to hell.

- Eun Wan

Anna pov :

Drowning in the darkness & misery that was what I was feeling right now. I unconsciously wrapped by arms around my body just to let the heaviness in my heart go away. As if I would be safe again. But the only difference was that no one was there to protect me. I ones again felt like that little weak fragile girl. Who was lost. Indeed I was lost. Around me people were rushing here and there. No one give me a second thought. Some stopped to stare and moved on with their own business.

A tear of helplessness left my eye. Around me everything & everyone felt so quiet despite the honking of cars & the rush of people. Whispering of people as they gossiped about life, stock market rates, lovers whispering sweet nothing to each other, mothers pulling their crying children. But despite the chaos around me i could only hear my tears hitting the ground like splashes of water. The voices around me so dull and every thing seems to be moving in slow motion. My one tear was followed by other pooling on the ground. Until I was a sobbing mess. Screaming and crying to let the pain out. My vision blurry from all the crying .I was sure my eyes were puffy & red. The place called "Home didn't feel like a safe heaven any more. I was lonely and lost. No one to protect me. No one to comfort me, no one to share my pain with. The friends that I called my family were gone forever. The people that I ones knew who admired me no more there for me. The business associates long forgotten .My only[protector my papa was gone too never to come back. " Papa! Your Annie needs you. Where are you daddy. Daddy come back. Save me? " i whispered pleading to no one in particular .My voice drifted in the howling wind before being carried away. But no one came to hug me and hide me from the sad and dangerous reality. No one came to repair the old wounds that were ones again opened by the one call that made me cover in fear. That threatened my very reason of existence.

Deep down I knew it won't take time for him to find me again after all it was his last words more like a promise to me " My sweet flower I will find you after I am free from this jail. No one can come between you and me sweet Anna. Not even the prison walls can separate us I will find you. You are mine". His words were like a curse. The curse that was my destruction. The old inky memories that i have locked away chained somewhere ones more vivid now as if they were happening now.

When I returned home. It felt like the walls were closing on me. Imprisoning me. I couldn't breath. I was greedily sucking in as much as air as my lungs could afford to take. My body & my feets heavy like they were chained and there was heavy Weight on my shoulders. My head felt dizzy it felt like I had just waken from my sleep but I never did went to sleep. I was crashing into anything that came in my way. Aimlessly walking towards my Washroom. I opened the shower and without getting rid of any article of clothes I sat in the shower. Scrubbing myself with my hands. The water was ice cold after all that day the temperature was too low. But I didn't care I felt nothing but emptiness. My skin red and raw from all the scrubbing. Then I was sobbing again rocking my body slowly as I sat on my heels.

Earlier that day :

I was done for the day. I felt so tired but all the hard work was worth it after all I was a successful business women now and my job demanded handwork, dedication & sacrifices. I had stayed awake last night. Making the presentation that could help me to get another deal. And finally my sacrifice & hard work payed off I was able to get the contract that could allow out company " Lin kin inc ( imaginary name )" to expand its shipping business in India it was a big achievement for me I was sure papa was proud of my accomplishment.