Can t you hear me now

What is the meaning of trauma bonding?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships; however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.

The woods are lovely dark and deep, and I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear me butterfly? – Stuntman Mike “Death Proof”

January 18th, the day that I woke up. It is the day that I realized I had attached myself to monster. It is the day I learned that to him I was nothing more than an option, I was sex, I was his toy, like a cat chasing a mouse. Where I was nothing to him, he was my everything. I knew he had trauma bonded me to him when he slept with around with other women and still showed up to my home to sleep over night. I let him validate my feelings in how he missed me, he denied everything even though the proof was there. But I forgave him, and I even apologized for second guessing him. He was very good at making me feel like I was in the wrong for listening to such lies, and not just coming to him first.

He got mad when he found out one of our coworkers and I were talking, and they had told me straight up that he was sleeping with 4 other women, and he would brag about it within the office to them. After getting the information I had needed I told them thank you and confronted him about it. I had asked what I did wrong to make him seek outside validation and sexual experiences from third parties. Why was not I good enough for him anymore. He would get so mad, and we would start arguing, he would rile me into an anger and then tell me I was crazy or unstable because I was Borderline with Bipolar disorder. His favorite line to use on me that day was “How dare you go behind my back to my subordinate and get information that is just not factual!" I was floored at how he could call her his subordinate, but I was too, and he was just treating me so grimly. He kept telling me that he was done with me, and he never wanted to talk to me again and that if I put one toe out of line, he would make sure I was out of a job that week.

Other times he would tell me “If you had any sense, you'd have known I drive 45 minutes to see you. Why would I do that if these females are right next to me. I could have stayed home and done it. Not gone out of my way for this." I was crushed by that. I honestly thought that I was in the wrong, and I blamed myself during the entire fight. He distanced me, isolated me, and made me feel alone in my own thoughts of how I did wrong. So, I ended up making him an offer I knew he wanted. I told him he could sleep with other people if I did not have to find out but he had to leave me alone from that point on.