ALPHA NATE
"Ass is life, Man. Ass is life." I exclaim as I zip up my pants, beads of sweat dripping down my body from the great hookup I just had.
My best friend and Beta, Raphael, laughs and moves his eyes, giving me enough privacy to cover up properly.
"I thought you love boobs more?" Raphael asks once I'm done dressing up.
"Life is nothing without boobs and you know it. Life is literally nothing without boobs," I emphasise when I remember that mother's feed their babies milk through their boobs. "While ass is life, boobs are the solution to every life problem. Imagine coming home after a long day at work, resting on your chicks huge boobs while telling her how awful your day was. The softness of those bad boys would heal any real man and instantly make him feel better. That's healing bro... instant healing."
Raphael cracks up, holding his stomach as he tries to catch his breath. "You are so fucking vain and it baffles me everytime. Seriously, ass and boobs don't matter. What matters most is the heart. You need a woman that would love you through thick and thin. A woman who would always love you no matter what. As an Alpha of the strongest Pack, you need a strong woman who would fight and stand by your side. You know we always have enemies. You need a warrior, a woman with a strong loving heart."
I stare at Raphael blankly for a few seconds when he's done with his meaninglessly unnecessary speech. He must have thought I got touched by his speech because he smiles like a father that just successfully talked sense into his teenage daughter.
Leaning closer to Raphael, I gesture for him to listen clearly. "One question. Just one question."
Raphael nods, wrinkle lines forming on his forehead in confusion as he signals me to go on.
"Can the heart shake?" I ask with a straight face.
If Raphael was confused before, then he is in the dark now. "I don't understand." He states, a deeper frown appearing on his face.
"The way asses shake when you spank it. The way boobs shake when it's wiggled. Can a heart shake the same way."
Raphael rolls his eyes when he answers, already knowing where I'm heading. "No, I don't think so."
"In that case, it is settled. Boobs and asses are the goat. A good heart is just a bonus."
I laugh at the expression on Raphael's face. He looked at me the same way an artist looks at a damaged piece of art before throwing in the thrash.
"So, who's the unlucky girl?"
I peer at Raphael from the stack of pack papers I am trying to go through."Huh?" I replied cluelessly.