365 DAYS OF LOVE AND HATE

I felt the whole world crumbled at my feet when Nurse Kim walked up to me with the news of my pregnancy.

The smile she had earlier on her face was all gone and her face looked so pale.

I braced myself for the worst news when I saw her approach me but yet, I wasn't prepared for it.

"Khloe, the result is out and it's positive" her eyes looked red and scary.

The room was rotating, my vision became blur. I pinched my right arm hoping to wake up from this nightmare.

I am just fucking 19! still living with my mum.

My mum always worked her ass off inorder to send me to the best college. Mum wanted me to be a surgeon, a great lady that no man will ever treat badly like the way dad treated her.

How am I going to face her?

My hands were so shaky. I stared at my legs and watched how sweaty they were despite how cold the room was.

I couldn't even look at Nurse Kim, who was clearly disappointed in me.

She was my bestfriend despite the age difference. Mum gave birth to me in the hospital Nurse Kim worked, infact she was there during my delivery.

'I am disappointed in you' She said before leaving me.

I watched her departing figure and I wanted to call out to her but my lips felt sealed.

**

Royce Cornell, my first and only boyfriend. I met him at my high school.

He had the perfect dentition, the perfect smile, height, body build and every perfect thing you could think of.

Before I met him, I wasn't comfortable in my own skin because of how tiny I looked. With Royce, he made me feel like the most perfect being on earth.

I became more comfortable around him and with time, I felt I was the most beautiful girl on earth. No matter how shabby I dressed, he still loved me.

We started dating when I was 16. He didn't care about sex at first. Our relationship was so perfect, infact we were the perfect couple.

Things took a new turn when our relationship clocked 9 months.

Royce was no longer the Royce I knew before, and fell in love with.

He was so different and nagged about every little thing I did.

He changed his phone's password and always gave silly excuses to me.

I once saw him in class, chatting happily with a girl. I felt jealous because she was so beautiful.

I confronted him about it and then he said something that created a big hole in my heart

"Khloe, must you always be insecure? if you want this relationship to work, you know what to do. What is the need being in a relationship where I can't have sex with my girlfriend and yet, I am not allowed to cheat! This is what everybody do in a relationship and by the way, a lot of girls are willing to throw themselves on me". After saying this, he stormed away.

I stood at that spot feeling glued and that was just the beginning of our problem.

I went home that day, and cried my eyes out. Mum always warned me about student relationship, and sex but here I am, madly in love with Royce, and not ready to lose him. That's when the devil started planting evil thoughts in my mind.

'What is sex? do it and keep your man. After all, you guys are getting married.'

I kept tossing on my bed through out the night and the next day, I went straight to Royce's house.

That was my first mistake!

I had no clue about sex and he was willing to teach me.

He started kissing and caressing me. To be honest, I wasn't comfortable with that.

***

Royce meant the world to me and he still means the world to me but here I am, expecting a baby all on my own.

"How am I going to explain this to mum?" I questioned myself. Mum really had high hopes on me, and I ruined it because of a fucking feeling, that doesn't exist.

Nurse Kim, I could literally picture her face of disappointment. She is never going to look at me the same way. I broke the trust she had.

I found myself walking down the alley, having no idea how I got here.