I woke up gasping, sunlight stabbing my eyes. My old room, posters of bands from twenty years ago still on the wall. My hands were smooth and young. I was seventeen again, a high school senior, and the State University scholarship was arriving today. In my first life, this was the pivotal moment, the day it all went wrong. My mother, Brenda, a human boa constrictor, would begin her "episodes." She'd clutch her chest, wail about her weak heart, demanding I stay. Her "love" was a saccharine poison, justifying every dream she crushed. I gave up my scholarship, my military aspirations, and even Olivia, the love of my life, all for her. My youth curdled into a bitter, joyless middle age. I worked dead-end jobs, a ghost haunted by what-ifs. Brenda sneered, calling me a "disappointment," a "failure," despite my sacrifices. At 35, my heart physically failed, but I knew it was despair that truly killed me. The searing injustice of it – a life stolen by a mother who saw me only as a possession, a slave to her manufactured frailty. Why had I let her weaponize her 'love' and destroy me? To what twisted end had I sacrificed everything for someone who thanked me with contempt? But now, I am seventeen again, all the painful knowledge of the past a burning weapon. The scholarship letter is in the mail. This time, things will be different. I will not let her break me, and I will save my younger sister, Chloe, too. I am alive, and this time, I am going to fight.
I woke up gasping, sunlight stabbing my eyes.
My old room, posters of bands from twenty years ago still on the wall.
My hands were smooth and young.
I was seventeen again, a high school senior, and the State University scholarship was arriving today.
In my first life, this was the pivotal moment, the day it all went wrong.
My mother, Brenda, a human boa constrictor, would begin her "episodes."
She'd clutch her chest, wail about her weak heart, demanding I stay.
Her "love" was a saccharine poison, justifying every dream she crushed.
I gave up my scholarship, my military aspirations, and even Olivia, the love of my life, all for her.
My youth curdled into a bitter, joyless middle age.
I worked dead-end jobs, a ghost haunted by what-ifs.
Brenda sneered, calling me a "disappointment," a "failure," despite my sacrifices.
At 35, my heart physically failed, but I knew it was despair that truly killed me.
The searing injustice of it – a life stolen by a mother who saw me only as a possession, a slave to her manufactured frailty.
Why had I let her weaponize her 'love' and destroy me?
To what twisted end had I sacrificed everything for someone who thanked me with contempt?
But now, I am seventeen again, all the painful knowledge of the past a burning weapon.
The scholarship letter is in the mail.
This time, things will be different.
I will not let her break me, and I will save my younger sister, Chloe, too.
I am alive, and this time, I am going to fight.
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