The Secret We Carry

Elena heard tires screeching behind her, but she didn't bat an eyelash. It wasn't apathy simply that it didn't matter anymore.

Everybody around her contributed to how she got to right now vendors yelling, horns blaring, and children running towards the street without thought or care but none came close to her. She had to make herself innocent.

With two grocery bags hanging from each hand she walked down the busy streets of Chicago with confidence. A dog barked nearby. A voice screamed, at a cab that had parked on the street. Somewhere a window above the bakery that sold cakes and pastries was open. Elena still walked without urgency. Her step had a purpose. It was a symphony.

Elena had a particular knack for picking up little details that people tended to miss-a forgotten baby sock tucked inside the furry head of the animal being washed down the drain, a teenage girl hiding an injury behind her sleeve, and an old man selling roses no one bought. Each detail registered in her head, through the beat of her heart, so she would remember it.

Officer Paul Rivera, not far away, had yet to close the door of his patrol car. The end of his patrol officer shift had been over twenty minutes ago, due to paper work and a disagreement with his supervisor. He removed the tie that wasn't overly tight, and turned toward the light spilling through the window.

He despised this part of town. So many people pretending they didn't need help. So many fake smiles masking deeper wounds. And the politics? He didn't even want to go there. Angry taxpayers. Empty apologies. It's all performative.

He was about to head to the coffee shop on the corner when he saw her.

Standing in front of the tamale cart, holding on to her purse with one hand, grocery bags hanging off her wrist. The world flowing by her like a river and there she was, completely untouched... totally unbothered.

Her relaxed state had a magnetic draw to it. It stopped him.

Paul found himself walking up to her, without even thinking about it.

"Hey," he said, casual but genuinely curious, flashing a half smile - part charm, part nervous smile. "You live around here?"

Elena looked up, caught off guard, but not surprised. She squinted at him. "Why do you want to know?"

Paul shrugged while eyeing the tamales he could hear sizzling on the griddle. "You don't exactly look like you belong."

A little smile tugged at her lips. "Maybe I don't need to belong."

That was it.

A challenge.

A spark.

Paul didn't realize it at the time, but something clicked.

After that, he kept returning. At first serendipitously, later purposefully. Some days, he went coffee at the corner just to catch a glimpse of her, and other days he created reasons to patrol that street, hoping to see her.

Small talk developed into long conversations. Elena didn't open up at first, but when she did, she was intentional with her words. She usually listened more than she spoke, but when she said something-it meant something.

Paul was more open, sometimes brash, always energetic. He told her silly stories about his loud Puerto Rican family and the fiascos of his rookie years. Elena countered with her memories of her life in Michoacán-how she helped her mom fold laundry in their little shop, her memories of her dad piecing together enough wood to build her a bike and then shoving her down the hill saying, "¡Confía!"

They were different, but they met in the middle.

He liked how down to earth she was.

She liked how confident he was.

He pushed her.

She grounded him.

They disagreed sometimes-about politics, pride, trust-but there was always something solid that brought them back together.

Their wedding was as simple as could be. It was in a backyard at her aunt's house just outside the city. Paper lanterns hung from above folding chairs. Paul's cousin DJ'd with a busted speaker, and Elena's mom paid for enough tamales that we could feed three neighborhoods. Her dress was off-white and billowy. His suit was uncomfortable and tight on the shoulders, but he didn't mind.

When he looked at her under that sky that night, he promised her everything - even all the things he hadn't yet had the chance to explain.

They didn't have much.

A small one-bedroom apartment.

An awful secondhand couch.

Two jobs that made them dog-tired,

But it was enough.

With the birth of their son, Steven, everything changed.

It was as if life before him was a blur. He came into this world screaming, but the moment Elena held him for the first time, he went still. His eyes were wide and blinking, and as if he recognized her instantly.

Steven had Elena's solid gaze and his crooked smile. By three months, he could change Paul's worst days with a single giggle. Their apartment was filled with baby clothes, soft lullabies, and practice tiptoeing while their baby was napping.

They were tired and tired.

And happy.

Until the letter.

It was a rainy afternoon in the city; it was the kind of rain that slowed the whole city down, the horns sounded tired. Elena stood in the kitchen, humming a tune Paul didn't recognize. Steven sat in the high chair, spreading mashed banana around his tray.

Paul walked through the front door, shaking mist from his jacket when he saw it. A tall envelope, peeking out from under the welcome mat with no stamp just his name in a handwriting that Paul had not seen in over 10 years.

His stomach sank.

He bent down hesitantly to pull it out. The weight of it... familiar. The corners were damp, but the penmanship was still sharp.

He ripped it open, hands shaking.

One sentence glared at him.

You thought it was over. It's not over. This time, she's going to find out.

His heart was pounding in his ears.

"Elena," he called, forcing his voice to sound steady, "just a package of junk mail."

"Okay," she said, not looking up.

He tucked the letter deep into his pocket.

That night, while Elena and Steven slept, Paul stood by the window, clenching the letter with all his strength.

The past he buried long before he ever met her had found him.

And this time it wasn't just after him.

It was coming for everything.