Nekaia has felt it, the pull. Something lurks in the dark of her life, and mind. Something familiar, but not entirely human. Will she bring it into the light? And will she love what is revealed?
Chapter 1 A White Rose
Dancing, swirling, falling. This is the price. The price of his love. Or maybe, the price of my pride. They call me. Summoning, it has a pull. My clothes suffocate me. My legs ache. My tears are the river that carries me. I watch the stars as I move. Towards the fire. Bright, blazing. He loves me like nobody else. It consumes me. Just like the stars. I will be lost. Never remembered, and also, never forgotten. I feel a hand on my shoulder, yet I do not see its owner. It's touch sliding to my jaw. Pushing me away. I reach in front of me failing to grasp what I seek.
What do I seek? I know it, but I cannot remember. I am lost.
I wake in the moonlight. Leaves in my hair. Flowers crushed underneath me. Only to hiss at a sharp pain in my palm, sitting up the nights' chill seeps in my bones. I lift my hand under the moonlight only to see blood dripping from it. A huff of disbelief escapes as I see my hand. A white rose, small enough to fit snugly in my palm is embedded in my skin. The thorns tearing flesh held deep. "A gift you say?" I muse to myself. I find sleep is a temporary relief. I visit him in my dreams. It is a place that feels like my home. Where I have been before, but also, waiting to go all my life. I lay against the damp ground and press my hands into the earth, feeling the thrum of energy underneath my fingertips. The roses' thorns digging deeper into my palm to spill more blood. "You do not deceive me my love, I know this act of malice is a way of connecting our existences." I whisper into the sky. I close my eyes and the wind swells around me, as if in reply. I smell the smoke of a fire long dead near me. I dig my nails into the dirt, biting my lip at the pain. If only I could grasp my dreams the same way.
I have memories of running underneath the stars with him. I do not know his face, yet I knew it was him. Other times, I would see his eyes waiting for me in the dark. I always thought if I ran fast enough, I could reach those eyes. I never did; they took me to my dreams instead. Eyes golden, like the sun. They looked warm, but they felt heavy. Chains that held me in place. I could never run fast enough. Not too him, and not from everyone else. Opening my eyes, I sit up and look into the dark, searching for those golden eyes. Standing, I turn and turn. Nothing. So, step by step I drag myself towards home. I dread it. Every night I hope for something to save me. Nothing does.
I walk slowly. Dragging my feet through the brush. I see the outline of my husband's cottage. It is a normal building. Wood and fur to create a house, but not a home. With unease, the energy stronger every step I take as I approach. Losing my nerve, I sit behind a tree. Just beyond the barrier that is my life. "I hope he has not woken in my absence." I mouth into the silence as I lay my head against bark. Breathing deeply I ponder what I can remember of my dreams. My emotions swell and I bite my lip to hold my tears in check. "Why are you so far from my grasp?" Whether I speak to my dreams or my hopes, I do not know. Will this always be my life? Feed, bleed, breed. That is what my husband desires. My vision blurs as tears spill forth. I cannot seem to quell the misery in my heart. Despite being many months after my marriage I cry often still, but I have learned to do so in private. I have learnt plenty in this season.