Her Sister's Surrogate

Helena squeezed my hand through the whole procedure. It was the least she could do, considering they were planting her eggs, fertilized with her husband's seed, inside me. I hated myself for not really wanting to be here. But I loved my sister, and this was what she needed. She'd never understand the weight of what I was sacrificing. Not in any real sense.

It wasn't painful, not physically anyway. But the ache in my chest? That was unbearable. It was the kind of pain no one could see. No one would ever know how much it hurt to carry their baby, knowing it would never truly be mine. That was the hardest part...the hollow, gnawing truth. The part I couldn't even share with her. How could I tell my sister that I had always been in love with her husband? How could I even begin to explain the mess of emotions that boiled inside me every time I saw him smile at her, the way his eyes softened when he looked at her, like she was the one he was always meant to be with?

I have been in love with him since the moment we met. Before he knew her, before they married, before everything had fallen into place for them. I used to dream there could someday be something between Hunter and me. But he had never seen me that way. From the moment Helena walked into his life, it was over for me. I had little chance before, but once Helena had entered the picture, it had been over. He was hers. And I was... invisible.

Now I'm most likely carrying her baby. Hunter's baby. My heart twisted painfully at the thought, and I hated how easy it was for Helena and our mum, Margo, to manipulate me into this.

They wanted me to be a good sister. To be selfless. But no one ever saw the toll it would take on me. No one could see what I was really giving up, what I had already given up.

Hunter was my boss. I had worked for him for four years. I had seen him fall for my sister, even as I stood there, watching it happen, pretending it didn't crush me a little every time. I had watched them grow closer, watched their love bloom, while I quietly stood by, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

I never felt like I was enough, not for him, not for anyone. Helena always had what I couldn't. She was everything I wasn't. She was so full of light. She had the beauty. She had Hunter.

I remember that Christmas party, the one where everything changed for me. I should have stayed home, but Helena had begged me to let her come.

"It'll be fun!" she'd said. But I watched him...Hunter fall for her. It wasn't even subtle. He couldn't take his eyes off her. I should have left right then. I should've walked away before it broke me. A new life away from watching them together would have been better than the situation I now found myself in.

But now, here I was, stuck. Stuck, most likely carrying their child. The baby they would raise together. The family they would build. The family I would always be on the outside of.

"We are ready to do the implant now," the doctor's voice pulled me from my thoughts.

I nodded. It was all I could manage.

"I have a good feeling about this," Helena said again, her voice light and carefree, "With Hunter's little swimmers in action, I'm sure it's going to work."

All I could do was close my eyes, hoping to block everything out.

"Okay, you should rest here for about thirty minutes before getting up," the doctor said too soon. I blinked my eyes open. She didn't meet my gaze, and I couldn't help but feel like she knew. She would have found out I was a virgin during the procedure.

I'd spent years hiding my secrets, my virginity, my longing for Hunter. but I felt like everyone saw it now. Which was impossible because I hid it so well. The doctor knew I was a virgin. But so what? Yeah, so what... I felt scraped raw from the inside out?

I nodded at her, letting her know I understood, trying to hold back the sting of tears. "Okay," I whispered, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on me. It felt like an avalanche that had already started, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Helena squeezed my hand again. "I'm so excited, Grace. This is going to be amazing," she said, her voice brimming with hope.

I wanted to be happy for her. I really did. But all I could do was nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Let's wait and see," I said quietly. "Don't get your hopes up too high too soon."

But Helena didn't hear me. Or maybe she just didn't care. She was so focused on what she needed, couldn't see the pain I was already drowning in. She didn't see that this wasn't as simple for me as it was for her. She didn't see how this was breaking me, little by little.

It wasn't just the pregnancy. It was the years of watching her get everything. It was the years of seeing her walk into the room, and everyone turning to her. Seeing her get Hunter's love. His attention. His affection.

And then there was me. Just... me. The shadow. The invisible sister. God, the self-pity. I'm stronger than this.

"I have a good feeling about this," Helena continued, her voice light and carefree. "With Hunter's little swimmers in action, l'm positive it's going to work."

"Can I have a minute alone?" I said when Helena said that. I just didn't want to think about it.

"Grace..." Helena started, but I cut her off.

"Please Helena. Can you give me a moment alone?" I pleaded. I could feel the tears burn at my eyes.

I could hear my sister stand and move to the door. She stood there for a moment. Please go was all I could think not opening my eyes.

Once I knew she was gone, I rolled over into the fetal position and let the tears fall freely. I couldn't keep pretending. I couldn't keep pretending that this was all just fine, that I was okay with being the invisible one. With being the one who was always overlooked, always used, always in the background. I was tired of being fine.

Thirty minutes later, I dressed quickly, wiping my eyes and trying to pull myself together. As I opened the door, I could hear my mom and Helena talking outside in the hall. I shouldn't have listened. But I couldn't help myself.

"Grace doesn't seem overjoyed about carrying my baby," Helena said, her voice faint but unmistakable.

My mother's voice was cold. "She should be grateful, Helena. Hunter needs an heir. You need to give him one. We can't afford to lose that hold on him."

My stomach twisted. We can't afford to lose that hold on him. My mother's words hit me like a slap. And Helena? She didn't even flinch. I could feel her manipulation in every word. She wasn't just grateful to me. No, this was about power. This was about making sure she kept Hunter, made sure I did my part, always in the background, always doing what she needed me to do.

I stood there for a moment, my hand over my stomach, the weight of what I could be carrying, both physically and emotionally, pressing down on me. It wasn't just about giving them a child. It was about keeping Hunter.

But maybe it would be over soon. Maybe the procedure would work, and maybe I could disappear from all of this, from the constant ache in my chest. I would carry their baby. And when it was over, I would leave. I would leave before I lost myself completely. Before I was broken beyond repair. But I feared handing over the baby would do that to me, anyway.