Cyber Love and Identity Crisis in Romance

"We slept together." Kellan declared, making a possessive gesture as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his embrace.

My face froze in an awkward smile, one that looked more like a grimace.

I never imagined that my online romance would turn out to be my ex's cousin. Such a melodramatic twist had actually happened to me.

1

"2, 301 sheep, 2, 302 sheep, 2, 303 sheep..."

Wait, which sheep was I counting just now?

With heavy dark circles under my eyes, I lay in bed tossing and turning.

It had been eight days since the breakup, and insomnia seemed to have become the norm. The doctor said it was neurasthenia and advised me to rest well.

Damn it, how was I supposed to rest if I couldn't sleep? At that rate, I would end up losing five kilograms, body and soul.

I reached under my pillow for my phone, and the screen lit up instantly, the white light stinging my eyes. The lock screen showed the time as 11:38 PM. Late night was the perfect time for melancholic thoughts, and I found myself inexplicably opening my ex's social media page. And the latest post was a group photo from a colleague gathering.

Braden Kirk was wearing a black shirt with gold - rimmed glasses, exuding a vibe of charm.

He sat right in the center of the picture, next to a girl with a sweet smile. They looked like a couple.

Braden and I broke up because of her.

Last Wednesday, I bought a ticket to fly to Boston to visit Braden at his company, only to catch them kissing. I broke up with him as soon as I got back.

Looking at the photo now, I felt a pang of indescribable bitterness.

2

They had said the best cure for a broken heart was a new love or time, but I couldn't wait for either. I had desperately needed a miracle cure.

So, I opened an app that I hadn't used for a long time on my phone, one that my best friend Kaitlin Ford had recommended. Sure enough, she was online and had even opened a party room.

Seeing me enter the room, she sent me a private message.

"Elaine! What brings you here?"

"Can't sleep, looking for someone to chat with."

"Got it!"

Then the public chat was flooded with messages.

"This is my real-life friend, she's stunning! Find her a gentle voice to lull her to sleep. Quick! Someone step up!"

Thanks to Kaitlin's efforts, I found myself a gentle sleep companion. He followed me and then sent a voice call request: "Hey, can you hear me?"

His voice was gentle and slightly lazy, incredibly pleasant, hitting all my sweet spots!

I was so excited I forgot to speak for a moment. He asked again, and I hurriedly responded, "Ah... I'm here."

He chuckled softly, teasing, "Are you a little stutterer?"

3

His name was Kellan Bennett, the same age as me, and also a sophomore in college.

He reached out to me every day, chatting occasionally during the day and sleeping on call at night.

Recently, my sleep quality had improved dramatically, and I secretly rejoiced at having found my miracle cure.

One night, he called again and suddenly asked, "You haven't told me your age yet."

Remembering how he had teased me before, I decided to play a trick on him, saying, "I'm four years older than you."

"Impossible."

"Do I not look like it?" I said casually, then sent him a few mature-looking photos from my album.

He remained silent, as if weighing the truth of my words.

To make the act convincing, I continued, "When was the last time you slept with someone on call?"

"I don't do that."

"Not even with me?"

Kellan abruptly ended the call, then sent me an emoji of a question mark.

I had thought to myself, he was quite the innocent guy.

"Just kidding. You are so serious?"

He didn't reply.

4

The next day, Kellan didn't contact me at all. He seemed to hold quite a grudge.

Looking at our chat window, I sighed helplessly, wondering if tonight would be another sleepless night.

At 11 PM, driven by the fear of insomnia, I tentatively called Kellan.

To my surprise, he answered.

I decided to take the initiative to save face. "Who told you to hang up on me last night. Apologize to me, and I won't be mad at you."

After a brief silence, a magnetic voice came through, "I'm sorry."

I was completely floored.

"What? Say it again."

"Elaine, don't push your luck." Kellan gritted his teeth, threatening word by word.

"Okay, okay, don't be so fierce." I mumbled softly.

But it seemed Kellan really believed I was four years older than him.

Usually, he called me Elaine when he was in a good mood. I also occasionally joked around with him.

5

We started communicating more frequently, and Kellan successfully took on multiple roles. He was my ranked game partner, gaming substitute, automatic jukebox, and bubble tea supplier. Of course, his main role was still to lull me to sleep.

As we chatted, I suddenly realized he lived in the neighboring city, just a half-hour train ride away.

Kellan often threatened to come find me in real life.

I wasn't one to back down, teasing him that if he dared to come, I would sleep with him, leaving him with no way back.

It was all just harmless banter, and he couldn't possibly have come looking for me, right?

So, I comfortably maintained my online persona as a player who enjoys the thrill without emotional ties.

Over the weekend, I arranged a gaming session with Kellan. I asked him, "What are you majoring in? You're so good at games."

It wasn't that I was inexperienced, but Kellan had been skilled in all the popular games, and from what I'd seen of his PC gaming, he could definitely have been a game streamer.

"Computer science."

"What a coincidence, my ex was too."

"Hey, that's such a cliché line." Kellan teased me with a hint of sarcasm.

I retorted, "Let me guess, you're a Scorpio, with such a sharp tongue."

"Nope."

"Then, Virgo."

"Nope."

"Damn! Capricorn."

"Nope."

"Go to hell." I snapped.

"Are you even a woman? Your gut instinct is terrible." He laughed heartily, rubbing my dignity into the ground.

"What sign are you then?" I asked, annoyed.

"March 25th, pure Aries."

I was stunned for a few seconds, my mind buzzing.

Kellan asked me why I wasn't speaking. I swallowed and calmly replied, "Kellan, my ex-boyfriend also has a birthday on March 25th."

On the other end of the phone, there was another bout of silence.

It was really hard to believe that such coincidences existed in the world.

6

When I found out that Kellan had been in three relationships, two of which were online, I teased him, "Could it be that you're too unattractive and can only date online?"

He didn't bother explaining, just sent over three photos.

The person in the photos had striking features, very fair skin, and a pair of deep-set eyes that exuded a devil-may-care attitude. There was a small mole under his right eye, adding a touch of aloofness.

He was undeniably handsome, and his features bore a slight resemblance to Braden. I couldn't help but remark again, "Kellan, you also look a lot like my ex-boyfriend."

"If you like me, just say it. No need to come up with such far-fetched reasons. This young master won't laugh at you." Kellan said with a carefree and slightly roguish air.

I could almost picture the smug look on his face as he said that.

Kellan still thought I had been flirting with him. Fine, if he didn't believe me, so be it.

I changed the subject and asked him, "With your looks, you must have plenty of admirers in real life. Why stick to online dating?"

"I'm used to being alone and don't have a strong desire for a relationship. I don't talk much with strangers in real life. As for those two online relationships, they were just coincidences and didn't last long."

In other words, he was a cool, aloof guy in real life, always giving off an aura that warned strangers to keep away. The online dating had been purely accidental.

"So, you went online to flirt up a storm." I mocked.

"Elaine!"

7

Lately, I had been swamped, practically living in the lab and barely managing to reply to messages. Sometimes, I pulled all-nighters and didn't even need to voice chat with Kellan to fall asleep.

On Monday, after our lab class, Kaitlin and I planned to have dinner at a popular pizza restaurant.

Kaitlin asked me directly, "You've been with Braden for two years. Aren't you upset about the breakup?"

"He cheated." I said.

Kaitlin replied, "Braden told me it was just a one-sided thing from that girl. Nothing happened between them. Besides, he's so good to you. How could he cheat?"

Indeed, Braden was known as the perfect boyfriend-gentle, romantic, considerate, and generous with his girlfriend. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have stayed with him for so long.

However, our relationship, while seemingly perfect on the surface, had long been rotten at its core. I didn't want to talk about it, nor could I explain it clearly, so I deflected with humor and told Kaitlin to stay out of it.

After leaving the restaurant, I received a message from Kellan. He sent me the address of a café, saying he would be there soon.

I asked, "What's going on?"

Kellan replied, "Coming to catch you."

I suddenly remembered that during a game, Kellan had persistently asked where I worked, and I had casually made up a café near the school.

Oh no! My mind was in a whirl. After saying goodbye to Kaitlin, I rushed to the café.

I ran all the way, breathless and panting, and dashed into the café. Then I slipped and fell, scattering the contents of my backpack.

Holding my knee, I winced in pain.

"NovaTec University, Biomedical Sciences Class 2, Elaine." Hearing a voice, I looked up and saw Kellan holding my student ID, examining it closely.

"Oh?" he said with a teasing smile.

"Um... Wishing you good health, see you next time." I forced a dry laugh, squeezing out a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

With that, I picked up my things from the floor and tried to make a quick exit.

8

Unfortunately, my escape failed.

Kellan, showing no mercy, grabbed me by the back of my neck and took me to a fancy restaurant. He sat next to me at the table, picking up food for me with gentlemanly grace.

As the plate in front of me piled up, I stopped him, pleading, "I just finished eating at a pizza restaurant. I really can't eat anymore."

Kellan set his fork down on the table and suddenly leaned in, cornering me. My heart raced, and I felt a wave of unease.

"Elaine, are you nervous?"

Kellan's face was close to mine, and he looked at me intently, his long lashes fluttering. I detected a hint of assertiveness in his gaze.

"Weren't you the one who wanted to sleep with me?" He said with a teasing smile.

Hearing this, my face flushed instantly, overwhelmed by embarrassment and heat.

"Is that all? And you lied to me, saying you were four years older than me?" Kellan tilted his head slightly, whispering in my ear. His warm breath tickled my ear, sending a shiver through my body.

Just as I was about to lose my ability to think, he let me go, sitting back properly and quietly eating, while I sat beside him, keeping him company.

In the afternoon, I took Kellan to the train station. Before boarding, he threatened me with a wicked grin, "I know which class you're in. If you dare not reply to my messages again, I'll come find you."

"Got it, understood!" I nodded vigorously.

9

Kellan was such a jerk. He didn't keep his word!

I was replying to his messages diligently, yet he still came to find me, once a week, sometimes even more frequently.

That day, as I was leaving the school gate, I saw someone in the distance, wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses, leaning casually against a red Porsche, attracting the attention of passing girls.

I couldn't be bothered to care and was about to take a detour when I heard a familiar voice.

"Elaine!" The person took off his sunglasses and waved at me.

Only then did I realize it was Kellan. He had brushed his bangs up, looking every bit like a rebellious character from a TV drama.

I panicked, quickly ran over, and pushed him to get in the car and drive away.

Once in the car, I punched him on the shoulder and cursed, "Are you crazy, parking right at the school gate?"

"So what? It's cool." He said nonchalantly.

"With so many people watching, they might think I'm being kept."

"What's wrong with me keeping you?" He laughed, completely unserious.

"Get lost." I rolled my eyes at him.

Our usual way of interacting was to banter, neither of us willing to back down.

10

I asked him, "Where did you get the car?"

"Where else? From home, of course." Kellan rested one hand on the steering wheel, his fingers tapping lightly, creating a soft rhythm.

I should have guessed.

Someone like Kellan, who seemed easygoing but exuded arrogance, must have grown up in a privileged environment.

"By the way, I'm here to visit a friend. I'll be around for about half a month, so I can see you often."