May the Sun Shine on Love

After eight years abroad, I returned home to take up a position as the head of a psychiatric hospital.

And now, my ex-boyfriend Vance Wall, who was once a top celebrity, had come to see me as a patient?

His blue hair was just as I remembered.

"I didn't expect to see you back here, " I said, maintaining a calm demeanor and casting a fleeting glance at him.

"No need to look further; you're delusional."

1

Knock, knock.

Without looking up, I said, "Come in."

When I didn't hear footsteps, I raised my eyes.

A slender figure overlapped with that of the boy in my memories. He had his hair dyed blue and was wearing makeup.

It was Vance, the current top male singer and my only ex-boyfriend.

My throat felt tight and painful.

"I didn't expect to see you back here, " I repeated.

His unfriendly demeanor and harsh words seemed to unlock something within me.

My hand clenched tightly under the table, tension making me feel nauseous.

I maintained my composure, giving him a brief glance.

"No need to look further; you're delusional."

"Hurry up. I need a consultation, " he said, plopping down in front of me.

I forced myself not to dwell on irrelevant thoughts.

"Do you have any past medical records?" I asked.

"Describe your emotional symptoms."

Vance's voice was nonchalant.

"I do." I extended my hand.

"Let me see them."

He looked at the nail marks in my palm as if admiring them.

"You want them? But I didn't bring it. Sorry."

I stiffened, retracting my hand.

"Vance, don't waste my time after hours."

He seemed provoked.

"Jodi, haven't you found your ideal match yet?"

His face showed a hint of mockery.

"Karma catches up with everyone eventually, Jodi. It's time for you to pay... "

With a bang, Vance slammed the door and left.

I bent over, the discomfort in my stomach intensifying.

I rushed to the bathroom, retching but unable to vomit.

I collapsed on the restroom floor, feeling defeated.

Karma caught up with everyone eventually?

Why did it never come around to me?

......

As I exited the hospital, my friend Milly Reed waved energetically at me.

Ignoring the burning sensation in my stomach, I forced a smile.

"Look at you, Jodi!

You're stunning today, " Milly said, lightly punching my shoulder.

"Wait, why do you look so pale today?"

My heart skipped a beat.

Before I could think of an excuse, she added, "Have you put on makeup and finally resorted to using your beauty as a weapon?"

I smiled and nodded, getting into the car.

Music played in the car.

My mind, filled to the brim, began to spill over with words.

"Milly, I ran into Vance today... "

The music volume lowered.

"He's just the same as before."

Milly slammed on the brakes, causing my head to hit the dashboard. I held my head, bewildered.

"Jodi, don't you remember? He left you when you needed him, always acting like he was too good for everyone. What's so good about him?"

Milly had asked me this question eight years ago.

What was so good about him?

I murmured, my voice overlapping with the one from back then.

"I don't know either... "

I hadn't been back long when Milly insisted I shouldn't rent a place.

She had a grand reason.

"You need a comfort house and accompany."

But I understood.

She was worried.

Worried about what?

Perhaps about everything fate had forced upon me.

When I got home, I went straight to my room.

The distress signals from my stomach to my brain were unbearable.

Clenching my teeth, I found the medicine hidden in my suitcase.

Without water, I swallowed it dry.

Unlike the chocolate, the medicine was completely bitter.

But the medicine would heal my body, while chocolate wouldn't.

Even my body was harming me.

......

The torment of the previous day felt like a dream.

The next day, aside from a swollen forehead from the collision, I felt surprisingly energetic.

At the hospital, my schedule was fully booked again.

Unfortunately, today's first patient was the same as yesterday's last one.

Vance leaned against the doorframe of the consultation room, indifferent.

It was as if he hadn't slammed the door the day before.

Suddenly, a hint of anger appeared on his face.

"Jodi, your taste has really declined since leaving me. You're even dating an abusive guy now?"

I instinctively touched my forehead.

He misunderstood.

Then, a stack of medical records landed on the desk in front of me.

I thought it was another one of his childish tricks.

But when I saw "severe bipolar disorder, " I was in disbelief.

Reading my expression, he chuckled softly, his eyes full of mockery.

"Is it fake? You know it's not. I'm not that high school kid anymore. I won't fool you with fake records."

2

After a moment of silence, I struggled to speak.

"How long have you been ill?"

He calmed down again, his expression indifferent.

"Eight years."

Suddenly, my mind went blank.

My eyes were glued to the medical records, as if trying to see through this absurd joke.

Vance pressed his lips tightly, trying hard to control his emotions.

But if the illness could be controlled, it wouldn't be an illness.

He suddenly stood up, came to me, and slightly bent down, trapping me in the chair.

He smelled of pine, a scent I once asked him about.

He said it was from his laundry detergent.

The scent reached my nose, and I felt a pang of nostalgia.

"Jodi, you owe me for life. Don't think you can escape.

You made me this way... I'll make sure you pay for it."

Was it my fault?

"Doctor, Doctor, this is my medical record."

Coming back to my senses, Vance had already left.

A patient waiting in line waved a hand in front of me.

I forced a smile and took the medical record.

The next few days felt like I was in a fog.

Even in my dreams, Vance's words echoed persistently.

Glancing at the time, I quickly got up and gathered my things.

I was going to be late.

As soon as I stepped through the hospital doors, I sensed that the atmosphere was different from usual.

I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as possible.

Just as I entered the office, someone called out to me.

A group of young nurses looked at me with gossip written all over their faces.

"Doctor Dent, did Vance book an appointment with you before?"

I froze for a moment.

"No."

"Come on, Doctor Dent, don't deny it. It's all over social media! What illness does he have?"

It was out there?

Trembling, I took out my phone but realized it wasn't the right place to check.

I looked up at the group of nurses, my voice suddenly rose.

"Didn't your professors ever tell you not to disclose patient privacy?"

With that, I turned and went into the room.

The young nurses were left bewildered, one nudging the other.

"Vance is Doctor Dent's boyfriend. I told you she'd be upset with your question!"

#VanceMentalIllness

#VancePsychologicalDisorder

#VanceJodi

The last time our names appeared together was in a school report issued by the principal.

I clicked on the trending topic.

It detailed the two years of my relationship with Vance in high school, painting me as a gold digger.

The reason for our breakup, it claimed, was Vance's lack of money.

The story seemed so real, yet the author forgot to fact-check.

Back then, Vance couldn't wear his wealth on his sleeve enough.

I sat down and expertly dialed a number.

The phone rang and rang, almost disconnecting before it was finally answered.

He didn't speak, which meant he knew it was me.

"Vance, explain this. I'll help clear things up for you."

"Clear things up? Clear what? That you kicked me to the curb?"

Vance shouted, his emotions extremely unstable.

The sound of things being smashed reached my ears, followed by others trying to restrain him.

Wasn't it you who suggested the breakup?

The breakfast I had this morning churned in my stomach.

I hung up the phone and rushed to the restroom, emptying my stomach's contents.

The acid burned my throat, and the unpleasant stench spread.

I wiped away the tears forced out by the physical reaction, staring at my bloodshot eyes from the mirror.

Life felt so dull...

By the time I came out, Vance had called me countless times.

"Hello."

"Jodi, you think I'm terrifying too, don't you? You think so too, right? Then why won't you come and cure me? Why?"

"I will cure you."

"Jodi, you used this tone to deceive me eight years ago.

You said you'd always be with me."

3

"If it weren't for the harsher criticism online, I'd suspect he's trying to get back at you, "

Milly said as she came to pick me up after work.

"Get back at me? For what?"

I laughed at her conspiracy theory.

"For being heartless back then, not appreciating our young master Vance, and wanting to find a highbrow intellectual instead."

"Oh, shut up!"

That evening, Milly was cooking in the kitchen, talking to herself.

"Vance was okay to you back then, just not very smart. Those childish antics were both infuriating and laughable. That article even referred to the two of you as a golden couple. Everyone knew that our school beauty was both talented and graceful. What kind of reputation did he have back then? It's all nonsense!"

Listening to her rant, I felt a lot lighter.

Milly was my childhood friend, the person who had been with me the most in this lifetime.

She was there when I got beaten as a child and when I fell ill as an adult.

Watching her busy figure, I quietly slipped into the room, poured a few pills into my palm, and hid them.

Before I could turn around, I heard the sound of a plate shattering behind me.

In an instant, a chill ran up from my feet, slowly freezing me entirely.

Milly's eyes were red, and she said nothing, immediately grabbing for the pill bottle.

I dodged and met her gaze.

It was filled with disappointment.

I relented, and the bottle was snatched away.

"What is this? Are these hormone pills?

You're still taking hormone pills?"

Her tears fell uncontrollably, her hands shaking so much she couldn't even hold her phone steady.

I held her, slowly closing my eyes, my voice barely a whisper.

"Yes, they're hormone pills."

"Jodi, didn't you promise me you'd be okay?"

Milly suddenly remembered something and opened my drawer.

I leaned weakly against the wall.

"Milly, I can't get better. I can't eat. Even a single grain of rice makes me retch for ages. If I don't take hormone pills, I'd look like a skeleton now. If I don't get these nutrient infusions, I might have died long ago."

I burst out laughing.

"Milly, isn't it ironic? Before I had anorexia, I wanted to die."

A tear slipped down my face.

I looked up at the light, imagining it as the sun in my heart.

My voice was so light it seemed ready to drift away.

"Now that I'm sick, I want to live... "

Milly couldn't hold back anymore.

She dropped the syringes and came over to hug me, her voice breaking.

"Why on earth?

Why on earth, Jodi... why?"

I laughed and hugged her back.

"The nutrient infusions are custom-made by my teacher's friend. They're expensive. You owe me."

With a loud wail, she cried even harder.

After that day, Milly didn't let me eat.

Instead, she brought out all my nutrient infusions and hormone pills, buying all sorts of stickers and small bottles.

She said, "Stick with your me, and while I can't make you live like a princess, I'll make sure you have the best care I can offer."

Contrary to my expectations, Vance and my names stayed on the trending list for a week.

Just when it seemed like we'd be forgotten, someone would bring it up again.

I hated this feeling of being watched.