"Breathe." He dipped his head down so that his lips were right at my ear, his strong arm wrapped securely around my waist, molding my body into his. "If you're going to fall apart,." He starts, teeth gritted. "Now's the time. I'll be here to put you back together when it's over." I squeezed my eyes shut again, and I did just that. I fell apart. ******* Secrets. Lies. Deception. Murder. I'd seen and done it all. And not willingly. So I left. I sacrificed my freedom to save myself, and the only way to ensure my own safety was to start over. Clean slate. New people. New me. But the last thing I expected when I arrived at Salvador Prep Academy was to be bombarded by a boy-no, a man who held some unknown vendetta against me. Call it obsession, infatuation, hatred. To me it was all one in the same. He was everywhere I turned, like a shadow. Watching me. Taunting me. Haunting me. And it was all because of something I did to him a long time ago. It was something so bad that he couldn't stand me, that he wanted me dead, and the idea of making my life a living hell was something that he took pride in. But I didn't remember. I had no clue what I could've done to him in the past, but he was hellbent on pushing me until I did. My plans on starting over were shattered the minute I stepped inside that school. He was the type of person that demanded your attention without having to speak. He was untamed and wild and unhinged. But what he didn't know was that the Fletcher Lakes that he knew in past, the one I didn't remember, was no longer alive. I was different. She was gone and I was here. And he was everything I should've been afraid of. Sinister, quiet, manipulative, but I knew it would be a cold day in hell before I let him win. Julian was like gasoline waiting to be doused on the fire that inside me, and if he was ready to burn, then so was I.
Chapter 1 1
â˘Elisiaâ˘
I dreadfully drag my feet out of the university and to my car. I'm going home for Christmas. One month. With them, again.
I completed all of my exams early, but I lied to my parents saying that I still had one more to take. It's officially the end of semester one, meaning I have no more excuses to drown them in anymore.
Stanford University.
I love this place, I never want to leave. It's my escape from my family. Most people hate college, but it's the opposite for me. Studying is fun-I love learning, mostly because of my passion for medicine.
I take a deep breath and start my car, heading to my regular sized apartment. It doesn't take me more than ten minutes before I arrive at my place, since it's not very far from campus.
I unlock the door and take myself to my
room-my very messy room. I open my closet and grab bundles of clothes, neatly folding, then fixing them into my suitcase.
I make my way over to my dresser and look at my drained, tired reflection. I was doing perfectly fine before my papa had called me and demanded I come home.
Sighing deeply, I start to gather my makeup and all of my other necessities such as my hygiene products.
I finish packing and pick up my suitcase from the bed, placing it on the ground with a loud thud. Turning off my lights and just as I open my bedroom door, I hear someone's footsteps. Inside of my apartment.
What the fuck?
I live alone.
I only told Matt, my boyfriend, I was going home for Christmas and that he couldn't come over anymore.
Confusion and panic creeps it's way up me and wraps around my throat. In utter instinct, I turn around and open a drawer beside me, the one with all types of knifes.
For protection, you know?
I firmly grasp onto the handle and get behind my door, sheltering myself. I see a shadow approaching my way and mentally prepare my body.
The anonymous person enters my room and faces their back to me. It's so dark, I can't see shit.
I decide to not test my crappy luck and lunge towards the uninvited intruder. If someone is going to die today, it won't be me. I twist their body, pushing them up against the wall and position the knife against their neck.
And these are skills I learned when I was younger...
Until they scream. She screams? A girl? There's no way a guy would sound like that. Unless he's really feminine.
I don't fucking know.
Lost in my thoughts, the person reaches their hand out to the switch and turns the lights on. I instantly step back after realizing who it is, my eyes wide from regret and shock.
"What. The. Actual. Fuck. Sia!?" My favorite person yells, panting heavily.
My mouth is still gaped open before I burst into a rambling conversation. "I'm so sorry Sandra. I thought it was some burglar!" I explain, trying to prove my innocence.
Sandra is still out of breath from my stunt which I thought was quite impressive. "Why do you even have a knife in your room?" She finally talks after a good ten seconds of silence.
I give her a very, well knowing look. She knows exactly why I have weapons named as protection with me.
Before I could give her a sarcastic response, she mutters out a stretched out 'oh'. Then, she changes the topic as quick as the wind changes. Only, I didn't want to talk about what she was about to say...
Sandra crosses her arms and tilts her head at me, her eyes glaring me down. "I came here to say goodbye, since you didn't think it was necessary to tell me you were leaving."
Damn it.
Sandra has been my best friend since high school and she's been through it all with me. She knows about everything. Every guy who's hurt me, every guy I've dated, my past friendships, my relationship with my parents, everything.
Not by blood, but she's my sister.
Sandra was there for me when I was suffering through depression. When my parents didn't want to take me to therapy, she did. I called her when I needed help with my panic attacks and she made me clean of self-harm. In conclusion, this woman is the most important person in my life and always will be.
"Are you going to answer or...?" Sandra raises a brow, cunningly waiting for a response.
"Yes..." I mumble as I'm snapped back into reality. I take a deep, long breath for the intense speech I'm about to give my best friend. "Sandra, I'm sorry. It completely slipped out of my mind and I know you're upset. I didn't want to worry you-"
Sandra cuts me off from rambling even more and voices her comforting words, "Sia, babes. I'm just joking, it's okay." A wide, playful smile forms on her face.
My heart swells and I suddenly feel like an emotional wreck. She knows me so well, to the point it's concerning.
I didn't tell her, because I knew how she would react if she found out I was going to my parents house for Christmas.
I haven't seen my parents since I graduated high school, which was two years ago. Two fucking years. No calls. No messages. Nothing.
I have been tagging along with Sandra at her house for holidays. Her family absolutely loves me and treats me like their own daughter. They are the family I never had, the type of people and love I've always craved for deep down.
I finally release a breath I didn't realize I was holding for such an immense amount of time, and wrap my arms around Sandra. My eyes shut tightly, trying to keep the unwanted tears from escaping.
"I don't know what they want from me, San..." I choke out, finally loosening the tight grasp I had on my emotions. "Papa called me earlier and told me- no, he demanded, I come home."
She pulls me back, so she can wipe my tears off of my cheeks. Her thumbs graze under my eyelids and she grabs my face, making me look at
her. "Sia, say the word and I swear I'll-"
"No...I just- he called me. Not a single heartfelt greeting of his daughter, instead he ordered me to come home or else..." My breath hitches at the back of my throat and I feel a tsunami of hurt running up me. "He will come here and drag me home." I finish, my voice wavering and filled with pain.
"You don't have to go, I'm here for you." Sandra assures, trying to convince me. But I know my papa. He will indeed come here and drag me by my fucking hair if I don't comply to his demands.
I've never been one to stand by and take hurtful comments. I'm the one to snap back with the same amount of energy. But, it's different with papa-I can never look him in the eyes and defend myself. My mouth has been sealed shut with past trauma and the fear of what he will do to me if I decide to speak against him.
"I have to go, Sandra." I breathe and she instantly starts shaking her head.
***
It takes me about a solid hour to convince her. Convince her, that I will be fine and we will see other after break. But at this point, I don't know if it's her or myself that I'm trying to reassure.
Sandra agrees on the condition that I will text and call her everyday, to inform her I am okay. I internally smile, no one has ever cared this much for me.
She and I both walk out of the apartment, locking the door as we go. Before getting in my car, I hug her one last time. "I love you, Sandra." My voice comes out as a mere whisper, hoping this won't be the last time I see her.
"I love you too, Sia." She smiles, hugging me even tighter as if she's not ready to let go either.
After a couple of minutes, we say our goodbyes and I situate myself into the car, driving off with a heavy heart.
Once I get on the highway, I play some music to lighten my mood and distract myself of what's to come.
'Cruel Summer' by Taylor Swift starts playing from my playlist.
God, I love her so much.
Thought, the song doesn't quite match the aura since it is Christmas. So, I change it to 'Midnight Rain', which brings me an unexplainable amount of comfort and relief.
It's a four hour ride home and I left my apartment at 6:00 p.m., meaning I'll arrive there around 10:00 p.m.
Great.
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