THE LOVE I MUST HATE

THE LOVE I MUST HATE

RosyKosy

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My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?

THE LOVE I MUST HATE Chapter 1 BEFORE I GO NUTS

PROLONG:

"I do not want anyone around you," Octavia cried. "Can you stop those men from coming to you?"

It is provoking to hear her demand I change my life for her. I chose to have those men with me. It is my choice!

"If you can't live with it, we should stop being friends." I declared.

"I know you are hurting, Lisa."

"You know nothing.

"I know those men disgust you. I know you like girls; you like me."

She is not wrong now. Every stay with those men kills me a thousand times. But not anymore, I am done liking girls.

And oh, she is wrong, I do not like her; not in the way she wants.

"I will go in for a shower," I said, hoping to end the conversation.

"It has been years," but she called me back. "How long do you want to punish yourself for Uriel?"

"Don't bring her up."

"Why? Do you still want your precious first love?"

"Shut up!" I flared to Octavia and gripped her neck. "I said...Don't bring her up!"

Octavia struggled under my grip, choking and hitting my hands to let go. I refused to until I saw teardrops in the corner of her eyes.

"Eishh!" I released her and she began an endless cough which bothered less to me.

"I..." She lifted a hand at me. "I...am fine," she said amidst coughs.

Who cares?

I made my way to the washroom again but Octavia called after me.

"Hold on, Lisa!" She stretched and twisted her neck. "Am I not beautiful?" She asked out of nowhere.

Octavia isn't only beautiful, but she has the prettiest boobs I have ever seen. Well, after Uriel.

"I am not doing this with you."

"I am here asking for a chance to make you happy."

"When will you give up? I am done liking girls, Octavia. I am done!"

"I want you. I can do anything to have you."

"You will only be a friend."

"I want more. Make me more for you, please." She begged desperately.

"Octavia..."

"You only want me as a friend? Then make me a friend with benefits."

"What?"

"Have sex with me. Make me your sex partner."

A sharp thrill passed through my belly as the sex word came upon me, and I stood unsure of how to respond.

"Be careful of what you ask for, Octavia."

"I want you, Lisa," she closed the space between us. "You know I have always wanted you."

"I will go in for a shower," I swallowed my uprising interest. "And I will pretend we didn't have this conversation."

Octavia nodded and when I thought she was back to her senses, she took my hand and forcefully slid it into her panties, on her organs, onto her wet clit.

"What...are..." I stammered.

Oh god! So soft and fleshy.

"I want you, Lisa. Make love to me, fuvk me, do whatever, I will give up myself for you."

"Octavia..."

"Please...Lisa..."

I shut my eyes, trying to subdue this mess but the moment she guided my finger into her honeypot, I knew Octavia would not only be a roommate and a friend, but she would also be my daily dessert.

****************************

POV: LISA:

"Lisa!"

I scowl on hearing my name. I welcome everything but to be screamed up like that and no, I won't answer to such a calling.

"Lisa!"

I ignored whoever it may be and returned to cleaning the medical equipment on the table. I have only a few minutes to finish before joining the other hailing students at the school field.

I am neither a medical practitioner nor a student. I am barely sixteen and a student at 'Louis Nobis Girls High School'. As the infirmarian, I am the superintendent of the clinic in the absence of Reverend Sarah, the school nurse.

Although I have no plans of becoming a doctor or nurse, I was awarded the post on the merit of my emotional attachment toward students.

"You are the most caring and loving of them all," Reverend Therese would always tell me.

No, I am not as caring and loving as everyone believes. I only feel obliged to care for those I find pretty and sexy.

You heard me and please, do not say that to anyone.

Schooling in an environment filled with girls in their prime, I struggled daily to remain unaffected by their beauty. And to keep my affection in check, I hide behind being kind to everyone, living in pretense and lies.

Whereby the Reverend Sisters believed my lies, they made me the infirmary prefect and here I am, cleaning the clinic tools and counting the days I get freed from the disgusting smell of drugs and disinfectants.

"Lisa!''

The door banged open and the screamer rushed in.

"Lisa..." she held her knees to catch her breath. "Lisa...'' Another attempt to speak failed.

"What now, Gabby?" I asked uninterestingly, still wiping the blood-stained forceps.

And that, I hate the smell of blood.

"Uriel..." Gabby coughed and that name had me looking up at her with instant enthusiasm. "She...''

"What happened to Uriel?" I dropped the forceps and took to my feet.

"She is bleeding...and...''

I ran out as fast as I could, abandoning the shuttering Gabby, disregarding the rules not to leave any student alone in the clinic without my presence.

I collided with students as I raced to the school field aiming to nothing but to find Uriel.

You see, running within the premises is against the rules. At Louis Nobis, we are expected to walk as holy as the Reverend sisters at all times; even when pressed to the butt.

I understand the effect of a senior breaking the rules, but what can I do when Uriel is bleeding out there? Gabby who also felt the urgency ran her way to me. So we shouldn't be blamed.

I dashed into the field, onto the paused match. The hailing from earlier has ended and students gathered in circles, murmuring and panicking.

There is an ongoing intra-contest among the four hostels in the school. The Blue, Green, Red, and Yellow hostels are all in a tough soccer competition, playing their best for the prize.

The Green and the Red hostels are scheduled to play in the evening while the Yellow and Blue hotels will score for the winner this morning.

The two winning hotels at the end of the day would compete with each other next Saturday, and the final winning hostel would be crowned the QUEEN hostel of the year. This implies that students boarding in the Queen Hostel are free from school labor and other internal work until the end of the school session.

It is a big deal for students to take the crown. No one likes to be summoned for labor or called out for minor chores. Every student wishes for labor relief so, they boost the energy of their players by cheering out their gullets and hoping for a miracle.

Uriel among other spectators, had gone to the field to support their team. Too bad she got more than she bargained for; and worse, the match is on hold for her injury.

Who is Uriel you asked? Well, she is a junior and my mentee. The truth is that I see her beyond my junior and mentee. She means more than I can explain and right now, I need to see her bleeding face before I go nuts.

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THE LOVE I MUST HATE THE LOVE I MUST HATE RosyKosy LGBT+
“My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?”
1

Chapter 1 BEFORE I GO NUTS

23/06/2024

2

Chapter 2 SHE NEEDS NO ONE ELSE

23/06/2024

3

Chapter 3 SHE NEEDS NO ONE ELSE II

23/06/2024

4

Chapter 4 MY GIRL, MY WOMAN

23/06/2024

5

Chapter 5 MY GIRL, MY WOMAN II

23/06/2024

6

Chapter 6 COSTLY FEELINGS

23/06/2024

7

Chapter 7 COSTLY FEELINGS II

23/06/2024

8

Chapter 8 WITHIN THE WALLS OF LOUIS NOBIS

23/06/2024

9

Chapter 9 WITHIN THE WALLS OF LOUIS NOBIS II

23/06/2024

10

Chapter 10 I AM SO STRESSED

23/06/2024

11

Chapter 11 I AM SO STRESSED II

23/06/2024

12

Chapter 12 UNHELPED

30/06/2024

13

Chapter 13 CRASHED EMOTION

02/07/2024

14

Chapter 14 IT IS CALVARY

03/07/2024

15

Chapter 15 BURIED FEELINGS

07/07/2024

16

Chapter 16 ICE ME DOWN

08/07/2024

17

Chapter 17 I HATE TO NEED HER

13/07/2024

18

Chapter 18 UNFRESHED START

13/07/2024

19

Chapter 19 DEAL BREAKER

15/07/2024

20

Chapter 20 GRATEFULLY DUMPED

19/07/2024

21

Chapter 21 NO MORE CLOSENESS

21/07/2024

22

Chapter 22 TO SQUARE ONE

29/07/2024

23

Chapter 23 I WANT TO STAY

29/07/2024

24

Chapter 24 I OWN MY FEELINGS

30/07/2024

25

Chapter 25 HER REASONS

30/07/2024

26

Chapter 26 UNSTABLE

01/08/2024

27

Chapter 27 MEETING DATE

02/08/2024

28

Chapter 28 SHARED SECRET

03/08/2024

29

Chapter 29 A BULLIED BULLY

08/08/2024

30

Chapter 30 WEIRD ARRANGEMENT

09/08/2024

31

Chapter 31 UNDERSTANDING US

13/08/2024

32

Chapter 32 I AM DONE LIKING GIRLS

20/07/2025

33

Chapter 33 A FAIR TRUCE

20/07/2025

34

Chapter 34 I GOT A GOOD LEECH

20/07/2025

35

Chapter 35 SELF-DECEPTION

20/07/2025

36

Chapter 36 CHEESY GAME

20/07/2025

37

Chapter 37 FISHY DINNER

20/07/2025

38

Chapter 38 MESSY DINNER

20/07/2025

39

Chapter 39 JOGGLED FEELINGS

20/07/2025

40

Chapter 40 ENDED BEFORE IT BEGAN

20/07/2025