Alpha Jaxon Second Chance Mate

PAIN.

Sometimes pain is all I feel. Not the physical kind but the emotional kind. The heart wrenching, soul destroying kind.

Has your heart ever hurt so much that you thought it might actually explode?

It was like a void in your heart that can never be fixed. A hole that burns so deep that you don't think you could ever be okay again.

Happiness is nothing but a distant memory for me. Half my soul is missing and I will never be able to fill the empty space again.

It has been nine months since I watched as my beautiful mate was murdered right in front of me. There was nothing I could do to stop what they did to her but I still blame myself everyday.

All I remember was the screaming... the endless screaming. From her. From me.

I hate myself more everyday. Half my soul was gone, my mate was gone. The heartache was unbearable, it still is today. Being an Alpha doesn't make it better, it just makes things worse.

I know I've been hard on my pack since she passed away but what do they expect? My life and my future was gone and she was never coming back.

Nothing could make me feel okay again and I that was the only thing I was sure of.

-

"Alpha Jaxon," Kayden the Beta to my pack addresses me as he strolls into my office uninvited.

I scowl looking up at him through my dark hooded eyes. "What do you want?" I almost spit at him.

My attention is focused back to my desk, there was nothing I hated more than being bothered.

"I just wanted to know if you'd have dinner with us? It's been a long time sinc—" I cut him off before he has the time to finish his sentence.

My hands start to ball into fists on my desk as I squeeze the pen tightly between my fingers. "Kayden, would you just leave me alone? I have no intention of joining you for dinner. Not now, not ever."

Kayden's face turns to a sympathetic look. "I know you miss her Jaxon but we miss you too. I think you should start trying to have dinner with us. We want to be there for you and su—"

Holding my hand up to him as my eyes now burn with fury. "Don't finish that sentence."

"But Alph—" He starts again.

I almost let a growl leave my lips at his inability to listen to what I'm saying."You have no idea how I feel Kayden! You have no right to come into my office and tell me what I should be doing!" My voice booms around the room and Kayden flinches at my tone.

Raising to my feet in anger as I push the chair out from underneath of me, my chest was heaving.

"I didn't meant to upset you Jaxon," Kayden says as he quickly fumbles to open my door and abruptly exits.

I swing my fist into the lamp on my desk, letting it hit the wall with such force is shatters into pieces before me. A scream leaves my lips, letting all my emotions out. All the emotions that are crawling through my body like trapped poison constantly making me think like a psychopath.

The ones that paralyse me everyday.

Sadness.