"Congratulations Mrs. Sevara, you are 1 month and 1 week pregnant." The Doctor smiled at the news, I smiled bitterly before holding my stomach. Hey little angel, are you really there? It didn't take me long, he prescribed some vitamins that he said would help me get pregnant. I went straight to my husband's office to tell him this good news, despite what is happening to us, he still has the right to know about it. "Mr. Sevara, your wife is here outside." His secretary said, I saw her nod as an answer before the woman finally let me in. I swallowed three more times before taking the pregnancy test out of my bag but I hadn't finished taking it yet when he dropped a piece of paper in front of me. "When do you plan to sign?" He asked while seriously looking at the divorce papers, I stared at it before sitting in front of him. "Is Azi really gone? Are you really just going to throw everything away?" I bit my lower lip to stop myself from sobbing. Tears came to my eyes one after the other, but I immediately wiped them away. "I don't love you anymore, let's not torture ourselves Jade, let's finish thi-" "I'm Preg-" I cut him off but I was immediately stunned when the door opened. "Hi Azriel! Missed me baby?" Monica, his mistress. "Oh, hello there Jade, just sign." He said boldly, I took the ballpen shakily, I can't. 'to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worst, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, until death us part.' where is the promise you made? where is the man i loved? I closed my eyes tightly before signing the divorce papers. why does this world need to be unfair sometimes? I always question myself where did we go wrong?
Chapter 1 perfect married
Chapter 1
I am Mrs. Jade Naive Guaren-Sevara, well I had a perfect married life back then, I don't know where or when it started but this is really what happened.
We're high school lovers, well it's funny to think that we're on and off but we still fail at church.
After a years I got pregnant, maybe we were married for three years before I got pregnant, he's the happiest man I know when I told him I was pregnant.
We are here in the garden today while watching the flowers planted by his parents, it feels good.
He hugged me from behind while his head is resting in my arms, I pinched his hand that's why he slightly opened his eyes.
"Why?" He asked before sitting me down on the swing and swinging me there.
I am 4 months pregnant.
"Love, what gender do you want our baby to be?" I curiously asked, he just continued cradling me while thinking of what to answer.
"Hmm, if you ask me. I want a man." I smiled at him after he said his answer, same as mine.
"Well, what will you name it?" I asked again, nowadays I often ask him questions like this, maybe it's just because of the excitement.
"Luke, but if you don't want it, we can change it." He sat next to me since the swing I was sitting on was big, he held my tummy to feel our baby.
"What if she's a girl? Are you still going to be happy?" I rested my head on his chest, he brushed my hair and nodded as an answer.
"Of course I will, besides you are the most important to me, whether we have a baby or not, we can still be happy, you'll always be my baby, Jade." I smiled after he said that.
But it was all a lie.
Month's had passed I am 6 months pregnant when this girl came into my life, she befriended me and after one month, she admitted to me that she likes my husband, she pushed me down the stairs of our house causing my child to miscarry .
Along with the loss of my son, I also lost my husband.
And you know what is the worst part? That girl who pushed me is his mistress.
I was walking in the heat while wiping my tears, I didn't know where I was going, my husband didn't even follow me.
"Taxi!" Even though I'm dizzy because of the extreme heat, I have nowhere else to go now but my parents' house, that's where I'll be returning after 4 years.
Well, after my son's fall, we were still pretty good, there were misunderstandings because we regretted what happened, he always blamed me for the loss of our son.
Little by little I remembered the first fight we had.
"It's late, where are you from?" I met him, he ignored me, in fact he just passed me like the wind.
"Azriel I am talking to you, what are you doing to yourself? Just get drunk at night-." I asked worried, he put his hand on my mouth to shut me up.
I tried to remove his hand before facing him.
"Azriel, rest your liver."
"I'm tired, Jade. Please lecture me tomorrow, just like you said, it's late, why aren't you asleep yet?"
"Maybe I'm worried, it's 2am in the morning and you're going home wasted, can't you just moved on from what happe-" I stopped after he hit the table, I admit. I felt fear.
"Can you just stop bringing up the topic? You don't want to accept that it was because of your negligence that we lost our son, because you weren't careful! It's your fault Jade," A strong slap made him stop, he also slightly tilted his head is because of his strength.
"Yes! It's my fault, Azi, but please! Don't talk to me like you're the only one who's lost! Azriel is my son too! It hurts me too, but I can't do anything but move on!" I shouted at him, I bit my lower lip to stop the tears from falling in my eyes.
"So tell me? How can I move on Jade? Tsngina! That's our daughter, why do you seem so quick to just throw it away and tell me to move on." He shouted back that's why I slightly closed my eyes.
"Azi, if I don't move on, what will happen to us? If we fall together, how can we get up again? It hurts me too, but I'm trying to forget it to help you get out! Because if I don't help you, maybe our relationship will end, right? finally get up!" I let my tears fall because I knew something was wrong, we had a problem, that we weren't okay.
I was silently crying inside the taxi while thinking how did we do this?
If we didn't lose our son, would everything end up like this?
I turned to the driver when he took a sip, he smiled at me before handing me the tissue.
"I'm sorry man." I apologized while wiping my tears.
"That's okay, go live now, crying is not good, it's ugly." He whispered so I laughed weakly, I nodded before forcing myself to stop crying.
What can my husband do now? Is he happy that I signed the divorce papers that he had to sign a long time ago? I just shook my head because of my thoughts.
I shouldn't stress myself, I'm not alone now, if only I had told him that I was pregnant, maybe there would be hope that we would be okay.
The car stopped in front of our house, I immediately reached for the payment before going inside.
I looked around the whole house, it was my unstoppable tears.
I sat on the sofa as I remembered the fun things we had done here, I smiled bitterly before standing up and going upstairs to the bedroom.
I leaned my head on the door frame as I watched Azriel and I's room, this is probably the one I will miss the most.
I sniffed and that's when I noticed that my face was wet, I wiped the tears that were dripping before taking my suitcase.
One by one I put all my things there, clothes, shoes, I didn't leave anything. Almost all the things in the room belong to Azi, so it's less hassle to bring my things.
I looked around the whole house for the last time, I was about to open the door but I was stopped when it suddenly opened.
"Where are you going?" Azriel asked, looking down at the suitcase I was carrying before nodding.
"You're leaving." He added, I just nodded my head before continuing to pull my suitcase.
I was about to step out but I was immediately stopped when he spoke.
"Make sure you don't leave a single thing behind, Jade. I don't want to remember anything about you." I almost froze because of the pain after he said that.
Really Azriel? Do you really hate me that much?
"Maybe I didn't leave anything, by the way. I've already cooked for you so you don't have to order your lunch, there's porridge in the kitchen. I'm leaving." I was about to step past him but he immediately grabbed my arm causing me to stop again.
"Take that, Jade. I won't eat it either." He said seriously, I frowned at him before putting down my suitcase.
"Have you eaten?" I asked, fvck this love, why am I still worried about him despite all the bad things he said?
"It's over, Monica brought lunch to the office earlier." I bent slightly to wipe the tears that were about to fall.
"Ah, I have to leave, I can't wrap anymore. Just feed it to the polite dogs." I tried to straighten my voice so he wouldn't know I was crying.
"See you on the next other half love." I said goodbye, he laughed sarcastically before nodding.
"See you never, Jade." His cold response was, love, just call me love.
I took a deep breath before loading my things into my car, I memorized the look of our house- Azriel's before I finally left.
I just cried when I got to my parents house, they know that Azi and I have had problems but I don't mention to them the divorce that he is asking for.
"Mom, I didn't save it, I didn't save our marriage." I said crying before hugging mommy, she's the only people I know that can comfort me at these hours. "Mom, Am I not a good wife?" When I questioned him, he shook his head before combing my hair with his finger to help me calm down.
"Shh, It's not your fault, stop blaming yourself." When he sat me down, he helped me sit on the sofa before the water reached.
"Should I remove this?" I said while looking at the engagement and wedding ring on my finger.
Rings as symbols of love never ending.
I smiled bitterly after realizing that it wasn't true.
"If you want then remove them but if you're not yet ready, you can just stay there until you're ready to set yourself free." Mommy answered, I drank again from the water she handed me because I felt like I was going to run out of water from crying so much.
It was said in the book I read, What went wrong to the love that once was strong?
Right now I'm just thinking about the child in my womb, how can I handle my child growing up without a father? How can I handle him growing up like me without even knowing his father?
Should I have an abortion? Of course not, I've lost everything, my son, my husband and I might go crazy if my child is lost too.
"That's how deep you think." I turned around when mommy suddenly entered my room, she was carrying milk and was obviously getting ready to sleep.
"Mom, of course. You shouldn't have mixed me up, I can do it by myself. You should rest, it's getting late." I said while reaching for a glass of milk, he laughed at me before looking at what I was sketching.
"New client?" He asked while looking at the ball gown I was designing.
"Yes mom, you're too picky and artistic with your designs, you need to stay up late." I answered, he opened the next page of my scetch pad and he was greeted by my unfinished drawing for Azriel, I was going to give it as a gift for our Wedding Anniversary next month, but the case didn't make it.
Mommy took a deep breath before kissing my forehead.
"Don't forget to rest okay?" I nodded in response, he immediately left because he was said to be sleepy.
I handed my phone and started scrolling into my facebook account, I stalked Azriel's account because I felt a sense of missing him, in four years I just can't sleep next to him again, it's a strange feeling, the kind like someone not enough.
"Azi, do you miss me too? Do you also cry at these times?" I asked while staring at his profile picture, it seems like only last year the two of us were still on it, now it's not.
He also doesn't post much because he's too busy with his patients, also he's running their family business that has been passed down to him, I even had a strong heart to think that he won't have another woman because apart from that I have confidence to him, I also know that he doesn't have time to be a woman anymore.
And now here I am again questioning my own worth.
I shook my head while wiping my tears, I didn't notice that I had been staring at his pictures.
I checked his albums, I smiled after seeing that he hasn't deleted our pictures yet, tsk, Am I still hoping that he will come back to me?
He chases Monica.
I turned off the light in the room and immediately covered myself with a blanket, that's where I poured all my tears, risking being exhausted and tired as well.
I woke up because I felt like my stomach was turning, I'm used to it because I've been like this for almost a week, Azriel just didn't know because he was leaving early for work.
I smiled brightly after seeing that I was not in my room with Azi, I'm at my Maidens home.
New home, New beginning.
To Be Continued...
Chapter 1 perfect married
05/01/2024
Chapter 2 Relationship for
05/01/2024
Chapter 3 my patience
05/01/2024
Chapter 4 Beautiful dream
05/01/2024
Chapter 5 The photo
05/01/2024
Chapter 6 Birthday
05/01/2024
Chapter 7 his marriage
05/01/2024
Chapter 8 The house
05/01/2024
Chapter 9 Ex-husband jealous
05/01/2024
Chapter 10 Kiss another woman
05/01/2024
Chapter 11 Birthday
26/01/2024
Chapter 12 Our first meeting
26/01/2024
Chapter 13 Our relationship
26/01/2024
Chapter 14 His doctors
26/01/2024
Chapter 15 The pain is gone
26/01/2024
Chapter 16 Testing my boy best friend
06/05/2024
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