Worst decision

CHAPTER 1

It is often said that misfortune and heartbreak make you stronger. I wish I could believe that. Having lost a brother might be replaceable as a life lesson, but God decided Ben would pass away at the age of twenty-four. Just six years older than me, my beloved. And damn cancer killed him. Why? I don’t know. It was different with Monica, my girlfriend. She never wanted to tell anyone we were dating. But someone had to do it. I told my parents and theirs after a big argument. And, of course, we split up. I can’t see the point of falling for a girl when she’s not ready for life.

Needless to say, I cried throughout the summer. All those double-checks without an answer, just as if we were machines and our batteries had faded. Tired of love and not willing to lose our stupid self-pride. And only not to recognise that you’re hiding your true feelings. All this being the case, I decided to apply for an Erasmus scholarship in Dublin and, although I knew I’d miss my family, I haven’t regretted since I did.

The house where I used to serve was near Malahide Castle, and it took fifteen minutes to go from there to university, which was really a waste of time. But I had to seize any job offer, as I was almost penniless. I only came here because I was fleeing from myself. Mr. Radcliffe, the owner, was a chubby man with a peculiar high-pitched voice. As soon as I arrived at his home, he introduced me to his little son Roy, and told me that I had to teach him math and Spanish. I was fairly fluent, as I had practised a lot with my cousin, you know. The child was lovely, and much more was Jack, his handsome brother. He was twenty-two, but it’s true that I’ve always liked boys and girls older than me. Not that I’ve been with many, apart from Monica and a few more mistakes.

‘This is your room,’ Jack explained, in the role of the big boy of the house. ‘There’s central heating, but it is sometimes off’

‘Are you working?’, I changed the topic.

Jack smiled at me in a few that made my heart-rate increase.

‘Yeah, I’m an engineer’

The first day I met him, we were rambling about college, music and films. All under the jealous look of his sister Beth, who saw my as a threatening outsider. While Jack was having a shower, she came to me and blurted out:

‘What did you say your name was?’

‘Anna’

‘Okay, Anna. Look, don’t distract my brother, will you? He’s a very busy man’

I gazed at her face. She was pretty, but vain and rude.

‘But I am not…’

‘Well, we’ve had other guests here, and I know how it goes’

I hate it when people don’t let you explain yourself, but I simply shut up because I didn’t want more trouble.

I spent the first week signing for different subjects, arranging papers, getting a passport and a monthly transport ticket. Mr. Radcliffe said he was happy with the way I taught Roy. I thanked him and admitted the kid was very intelligent, but again Beth gave me the cold shoulder, as if I was just faking. However, she had to give up to evidence. I was doing a good job!

Once I’d finished setting there, Jack offered to give me a lift for me to see the city. We went to the Viking museum and had a great time there. We spent three hours seeing everything. In Dublinia, you can dress up as a real viking, touch the remains of authentic ships dating from the 7th and 8th centuries and write your name in the Rhunic alphabet.

We had our photos taken together and couldn’t stop laughing. We looked so weird in those costumes with horns! ‘But don’t they say Vikings didn’t use to wear horns?’, I asked Jack. ‘No, probably not. It seems that horned helmets are an addition of Scandinavian artists from the 19th century’. I liked him because he was so cultivated. He would have an answer for every question, no matter the topic.

Another day, after he’d finished work, we went to the amusement park in Drogheda, another county. We rode in water slides and followed routes that imitated the life of pirates!

With all these things I forgot about misery and sorrow, although I was aware that it was only a temporary escape. The following Monday, I started classes at Trinity college. I was so nervous!

In the campus, there were a lot of foreign students, mainly Chinese and Spanish. I couldn’t even start a conversation with them, because they seemed to already know each other and ignored me. The good thing was that I chose a subject on Samuel Beckett, a playwright who wrote about the agony of being human. When the teacher told us about his works, it seemed to me as if the author could read my mind, even from death. Then I joined in funky dance lessons and attended a couple of talks by local scientists.