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It was one of those times, when a rape victim, found the voice to speak out. For Toluwani, it was an opportunity for her to speak up and get the closure that would help her heal. But who was she kidding? She has never been the one with such luck. And since there was no solace with family. The first bits of peace she felt with Yemi made her think, she was finally home. Jokes on her though. The suffering just began.. But maybe just maybe. There is light at the end of the tunnel for her.

Chapter 1 THE BEGINNING OF THE END.

CHAPTER1

I try most times, to not blame mama, but on days like this when I reminisce on how my life has played out, I really can't help it. If he only beats me, I honestly will have no problem with it. All my life I have always had to be bullied and abused, and I had already become used to it. Not that it did not hurt me physically, I was just at a point where physical pain didn't matter much to me. Gone were the days when I felt the pain in my chest.

But it was always the things he will say. Reminding me of the things I want to forget the most. I am a very smart woman actually, and that is why I always wonder how I never saw this bad behaviours. A pretender, that is what he is. A very good one at that. Or maybe he came around at a time when I was very vulnerable, when I needed a backbone, I think what made me accept him, was the fact that it seemed like I had finally found my own personal person. And I think for him, he knew I was very vulnerable at the time, and so he made calculative moves.

My husband, YEMI is who you will refer to has a Lagos baller. In AG BABY'S words ' AYE 5 STAR LAN JE' my guy was living the life. A very good job that paid him almost too much, and in all honesty, Yemi works for it, he earns his pay, and he is good at what he does. But when it is time to rewind and enjoy his money he knows exactly how to go about it. Smarter than the average guy.

Now please don't get it wrong I am actually a very smart young lady. Infact if I wasn't, Yemi wouldn't have gotten married to me. He would definitely not risk me embarrassing him anywhere. If there was anything he actually cared about, it was his dignity. I am smart, very articulated, and to an extent successful, but if there was something I lacked it will be strength and self will. I am the definition of a weakling, I am a victim of my circumstances. And again I blame mama. Maybe if she had gone about things differently and not made me feel like a second option, things would have been very different. I probably would be able to face Yemi, and let him know he is the real son of a bitch. I don't even bother to complain to people anymore. They can't relate. To them I am just being extra. Yemi is perfect. So what do I want again? 'alainitelorun' that is who they think I am. I envy those that have good family and friends. I am a very unlucky person, and I am not even saying it for pity, there are somethings that you don't need anybody to tell you. And for me the fact that I am always unlucky is one of those things.

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