Diana Costello Brothers I

Beatrice Sartori

Exactly three days ago he left without even saying a word that could mend any of the parts of my broken heart, how stupid I was for a moment to imagine looking into the abyss and not being swallowed. It's strange how his absence becomes a welcome respite, some kind of twisted calm in the midst of yet another storm, for someone made up of lies living within one is like a normal day.

So, being trapped in the basement like an animal, in a small room provided only with a cupboard, a table and some cloths that were thrown so that she could sleep on them, if she could be grateful for the clemency given, it's just the fact of having a bathroom and not needing to smell your own urine.

Surviving yet another déjà vu of what life has been like in recent years, an endless cycle of pain and misfortune, at what moment did I allow myself to think that I could live something beyond that?

I never imagined that everything would be as bad as it once was, the moment I was introduced to Stefano I knew I was handing my life over to a bad man, after all, what mafia man would be good... And no matter how naive he was or try to be, I still had a little hope saved, for some stupid reason, of having a good marriage and a life of queen next to the next Don, that hope was extinguished right at the beginning of our marriage seven years ago.

I saw how dreams are killed and hope is lost, every day that man, in his every decision, was capable of destroying my faith. The most incredible thing is to notice how, in front of others, no one could even imagine their demonic capacity or the darkness that hides behind the most beautiful faces, but believing in beauty was the first mistake. In this dark, humid and windowless place hidden inside our own house, built only by its perverse idealization in wanting to fulfill all its desires by having a prisoner chained before marriage within the mafia, someone to take out its fury, make it beg and break the soul in the most diverse ways.

I'm trapped inside my own desires, taking all the lies as lessons in a long apprenticeship, making my mind boil with crazy ideas in an abused body that begs for a little rest and some care. Even though it's an unattainable dream.

Evil hides in a sordid way by infiltrating beneath beautiful faces decorated in fake pearls, creating the perfect decoration for those who need a single light to keep hope alive. I do have a brilliant, faithful husband who I can always smile at his kindness in front of others. Of course, I snorted because I know Don Sartori would never punish the sole heir for training his wife far enough from the council. The pains I feel spread throughout my body, in any movement I make, only shows how much he is capable of doing shady deals using me as a bargaining chip, willing to carry out his daily humiliations.

This has been my life since I was sixteen, to be Stefano Sartori's luxury whore decked in diamonds by day and beaten by night, carrying the title of wife would be very inappropriate considering the life I lead. That's what we are, fertile wombs, golden cunts born to marry the heirs, sold to form alliances. Women judged by other women in an endless cycle of hate just for being a woman.

Seeing how this pattern continues to repeat itself I feel that death seems more attractive today than going on like this...

I remember the moment when the first beating came after a family party, Stefano said he noticed my glances at one of the capos.

hmffff.

It's not like I can look anywhere above my head without being accused of cheating.

They are long years of which I endure being molested, raped and beaten by a man of extreme beauty, bright eyes that guard a demon, making declarations about a non-existent love, a man who was able to buy our marriage, like someone going to a supermarket doing the day's shopping, demanding to have his acquisition even before coming of age, his fixation mixed with an obsession with me completely sick, in fact, he is someone sick, soulless who feeds hatred every day, turning me into someone as sick as he is.