Love Me Back To Life

S A D T E E N SERIES

Love me back to life.

Written under the inspiration of

Infinity by Jaymes Young

Chapter 1. (Felicia)

It was a very cool evening and the evening sun casted long shadows on the ground. The slanting rays of the setting sun gave a warm orange tinge to the sky. The sky was ablaze with the fire of the setting sun.

I heard a faint voice call my name from the balcony,

"Felicia! Felicia!" I knew for once it was James my boyfriend so I hesitated to answer.

Then he started throwing rocks at my window and his voice which was faint became louder.I felt so happy and sad at the same time.

Why?...He was blind.

After a period of thirty minutes I stopped hearing the sound of the rocks thrown at my window. I felt so relieved thinking he had given up and probably thinks I'm not around.

Two minutes later I heard his voice again ,

"Felicia! Baby please come out"

I then reluctantly opened my windows with a face as long a fiddle.

"Can you come back later?" I drawled

Then he gave me this captivating smile and replied a "no".

Almost blushing I asked why and he replied saying,

" Because I love you for infinity"

Different people have different perceptions, different vantage points about love and how it affects us individually.

My name is Felicia John and this is my story;

I had recently been diagnosed with Schizophrenia and I could still remember vividly the shock on my mother's face at the teaching hospital.

A month ago I started experiencing delusions and hallucinations and my thoughts seemed out of touch with reality. Infact, my life was turned up side down.

My first psychotic episode happened when I tried to save an old lady from being hit by a speeding truck but I was the one that almost got killed. The old lady I thought I saw, wasn't really there. I argued with my mom that there was an old lady at the middle of the road with tears rolling down from my eyes. I sustained few injuries on my face.

The weirdest thing of all is that despite all those things I had no clue that something was wrong with me.

Everyday was a mystery. My mother became worried after that incident and many other incidents that had taken place. She suggested that I should see a psychiatrist. I had no option but to agree because I love my mom and didn't want to be a pain in her ass.

My mom suffered a lot after my dad divorced her and she was also dismissed from work. My dad figured out that she lied about her age and filed for a divorce immediately.

Few months later he got married to his co worker.

Oh well,I wasn't surprised even though I became very depressed after he left.

My mom was devastated but she is a strong woman.

* * * * * * * *

That Saturday morning, my Mom and I were supposed to go to the hospital and the thought alone made me cry my eyes for hours. I had to cry quietly since my Mom was still asleep and I didn't want to wake her.

I made breakfast that morning; our same old powdered chocolate tea and wheat bread. My Mom was still asleep so I placed her own meal on a plastic tray and took it to her.

" Mom" I called her with my cracked morning voice.

She woke up with a painful smile and took the tray from my hands, kept it on the bed and knelt down to pray.

My religious fanatic!

We prepared and left to the hospital immediately.

At the entrance of the hospital I saw a little girl dressed in pink dress approaching me with beautiful sunflowers. She had a solferino- red hair and it tumbled over her shoulders. I held my mother's old soft hands tight because I wasn't sure if the pink little girl was real or not.

I also didn't want to create a scene at the hospital. I'll definitely do anything to avoid that disappointing look on my mother's face. We sat for hours in the waiting room waiting to be called to meet the doctor.

"Number 35" The young skinny nurse called.

It was my number. Finally it was my turn to meet the doctor.

We met the doctor. She asked me few questions and after a bunch of test I was diagnosed with Schizophrenic Spectrum Disorder. I wasn't happy neither was I sad. I just felt like I was one of the most unlucky people on this fucking planet.

I was given different drugs including anti depressants. I had to take my drugs three times daily. I had to make sure that I was far away from bottles, knives, swimming pools and other things that my mind can use against me.

Schizophrenia is a mental disorder in which your brain starts to create images that are not real and anyone suffering from it ain't aware or else been told.

After several weeks, my mom got a new job at a mall. I was so excited because she could probably find another man there and be happy.

And now I can spend more time alone at home and no one would have to look at me with pitiful eyes and wonder what I'm doing every fucking time.

You see, I'm an introvert. And being an introvert is like a personality, something you are born with. It's like a skin you cannot shed off miraculously. I have tried in various occasions to make friends or randomly talk to people but it all failed successfully.

At my 4th grade there was this certain girl who didn't have friends just like me. I could say she was a nerd because she was always with a book, reading it or just holding it. I thought to myself it would be cool to talk to her which I did and didn't come out with the best results.

" Hey I'm Felicia" I said politely to the girl.

"Okay Felicia, you look nice and sweet but I don't want to have friends" Was the reply she gave.

I couldn't help but be shocked as to how she figured what my intentions were.

Going to visit my mom, I requested to be home schooled and I promised my mom to be obedient to my tutors. I spent my time studying so I could convince my mother that home schooling was a good idea.

I felt lonely sometimes but my thoughts kept me company.

Several months had passed and it was getting to the end of the year; my grades were good and my mom made few changes to the interior of our house.

One certain night, I started hearing voices and mumblings.

As if I was in a large room with about a thousand people all having separate conversations so I couldn't decern what was being said

I then overdosed on all the drugs that was given to me by my doctor.

And i slept off.

The next day, very early in the morning I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

As usual, the house was quiet and my mom was still asleep.

I looked at the mirror in front of me while washing my hands in the sink.

I opened my mouth to see how well I had brushed my teeth but then my teeth started growing and I saw thick hairs

Rapidly sprouting out all over my face.

I screamed and passed out on the bathroom floor .

It felt like I was drowning in a river filled with dead fishes.

I closed my eyes and was completely unconscious.