Dire

Why the hell it was only me who experienced all kinds of incidents? I was not feeling well at all those days. Somehow, I was feeling like my stomach was being kicked off. I took few days off from my work. I had no idea, how many days, I slept those whole days. Didn't do anything, just ate my three days meal, took bath, took my nature's call to flushed it away but still painful memories could not been removed or forgotten. I was dreaming about a woman those days, a woman who had lost her child every time she had hoped to give a birth to.

Everytime she was involved with her new lover to get pregnant then just before birth it's been kicked off by her ex-husband. I was horrified by the very thought of it. How was it even possible? Every time? But why? After few days, I was handed a newspaper by my mother. It was a homicide case of a woman who was discovered when the dog came with an unborn child's piece of hand to his master. The dog owner was that woman's neighbor.

As usual like every day walk, he was out for his morning walk with his dog when his dog out of curiosity or probably from smell, ran off to his neighbor's backyard and came up with that hand. He was so afraid with the sight, he informed immediately to the police, he even didn't go to her house to see her whereabouts. He said in the report of the police that she was a very lovely person, always helpful to her neighbour's need, she never said no to anyone. Whenever anyone needed any help, she helped them out as her limitations were. Anyone of her neighbour's could not think of anyone of them who could do such to her. The police said to the journalist that when they went to her backyard, they founded nothing outside then they were curious to look inside the house for more evidence than just a child's hand. They went inside they checked kitchen, lobby, study room, store room everything was clean. Then they went to upstairs, at first it was all clean and they were started to disappointed when they saw her bedroom where she gave her premature delivery, it was not an abortion, it was not meant to be like that, she was sleeping when that happened, the killer came to her, unconscious her with medicine then cut it out from her belly, piece by piece, that's explained them about the piece of child's hand but it didn't explain who did it. The police said they were going to handle the rest from there. When I read it from the newspaper, I thought of my police officer that was friend of mine from the last case. I called him to know if he knew anything about the case. He said yes, he was one of the police among them. I was relaxed at that time, someone I found out from whom I could do some inquiries.

My friend was very frustrated about the whole thing. He said, he never thought that man could be such a vicious animal, sometimes, he even hate himself because he was a man too. I said, why did you think like that. He added then when he first went to the house, it was such a beautiful house that everyone loved to return, everything was taken cared and kept in, so tastefully decorative way, that everyone of us were not ready to face the horror of the truth. Some kind of rotten smell made heavier to breathe in. When they were go to upstairs, bad smell of rotten flesh attacked them, it created the heavy air, at first his head was spinning out of disgusting smell then when he finally faced the fear, he stood there, stunned, the bed full of blood, the dead body was soaking in it, it was cut upper part of the body to lower, a fine slit, the flesh was removed from the upper body part then the unborn child was neatly cut into pieces, as if the dinner was being served to eat. She was looking so tired, frustrated at the same time, it seemed life didn't treated her well, thin body with big belly where her son was sleeping within her womb safely but that sleep was not meant to be broken by the evil monster, butchered him and her mom. My friend's eyes were watery when he was explaining to me. Then I asked if he found out anything suspicious. He said, we found out a diary of her where she written it was her fourth child, after giving grave to her other three, she was feeling very worried. I was not feeling good at that time. Three children were dead already. I said, what happened to them. He added then, first one was abort by her first husband because he wasn't ready for his birth, since then she wasn't ready to face with her husband. He was only using her for cooking, cleaning and bed, without a kid of her own she was feeling very lonely person, he never talked with her nor had any time for her, he came back every night used her in bed then left her there to rot. He was not physically abusive but mentally he was, she never could have made love with him again, but whenever she wanted to do so, he started to argue about her secret lovers, which was all made up by him, he was always suspicious that when he was not at home, her lover came to spend nights with her. She was so tired with her marriage life then that abortion took place. She gave divorce to her husband on the ground of making her to take life of her child before birth then moved to her mother's home.

After a while of spending her time there, she met a gentleman who was a businessman. He loved to travel across the lands for import and export business of his garments supplies, never been married, not had any interest either but he loved the company of her out of rare qualitiesof her, as she thought, just like her husband who was chosen her for those rarities. That business man was at his earliest 40's. Very charming fresh minded man of that age. Unmarried man without having any kids of his own, charming gentleman indeed, was not a bad companion for any divorcee like her. Especially, for those who were suffering from suspicious end of relations. Her first husband was a surgeon, private practitioner of government, all the luxury of life in her early marriage was fulfilled by the government generosity. Little house at the corner of the hill with small garden, all aids of life were given by the government to him, life was fair to them, as one of their nation's experienced gynecologist. At that stage of bored monotonous life, he was suffering from mental insecurity. She had no idea what was the cause of it but it ate his whole mind single handedly. His whole life he spent with hardwork and wisdom from gaining his valuable knowledge from his work but stayed successfully unsatisfied from his love life. Beforehand of her existence in his life, he had no one, as far as she knows, but still he was ill with psychological anxieties. She never noticed it in her early marriage but as the time passed by, his creative stories started to emerge out of nowhere. He started to believe every little things that people with a glimpse of left out innocence in them, were ignorantly hated to share any kinds of information with him against his beloved wife.

He was a handsome man with brilliant qualities of life's generosity, who was welcomed graciously in every home as a man of their house, so it was expected that his marriage with her would not be acceptable that easily. He picked her up as his wife from one of his friend's wedding parties. Out of nowhere, he suddenly ended his lone wolf life. Even his friends were surprised by his selection from choices. He was a good hunt for any single lady at that time, he could get anyone he like but he chose her. He said to his friends it was a love at first sight. She was overwhelmed by his praise at first, with his professional career and small part of his luxury, was not too much for her single working life but after her marriage with him, she began to unfold the very reasons of his lonesome life. From his childhood, he was a verily womanizer but he never had any serious relationships with anyone or any curiosity even. He was brought up in very wealthy family but his parents wanted their one and only child should experience the struggle of life, to gain anything. He did well in learning but he probably had experience some kinds of disappointments in his life as well. He was rather sensitive than emotional. He did not have a normal childhood like others, they never did any family parties with his friends or met any friends of his. Very tight scheduled life he had to go through, both of his parents had their own career and he spent his whole life in getting higher studies and career. Occasional parties of his own with his friends, vacations, hobbies everything he did with himself accompanied by his friends, his parents encouraged him in everything, never made him to feel insufficiency in anything but never had enough time for him either to know him or care for his sensitivity or ever gave him time enough to share his experiences with them. He lived and broad up in very lonely way. He had no siblings as far as he said. Then she got pregnant, she thought it might make him happy, a child of his own but as he was a gynecologist, he did her abortion with his own hands though she refused him to get her abortion, requested him, cried a lot, even at some point begged him but still he did that to her because he was not ready for that child, it was making him uneasy, unfocus, he was losing his psychological sanity, that's why, he wanted to abortion it as he said to her. She didn't realised when did he do that. She just remembered that after eating her dinner, she went to sleep and when she woke up, she lost her five months baby, she was too weak to move out from her bedroom but her husband didn't cared her less. He took good care of her health and made her well. After that incident, she stopped talking with him but he was like nothing happened, took her to every party with him, every night whatever happened he came to her at night. She never had to spend lonesome night in their bed. Then she got pregnant again, she still remembered that morning, she noticed her irregular periods were stopped, she was worried but didn't mention it to her husband. She took pregnancy test herself at that very early morning, he left that day early too when she knew that she was having a baby. She was feeling good that morning, smiling a lot, enjoying time with her unborn child. That whole day long, she spent her time touching her baby, tried to feel it's presence, it's movement, imagining to listen the sounds of it, that growing inside her womb, thinking how would it turn out to be, a boy or a girl, like her or him then she started to cry for her first child, she did same things that time too but he took her motherhood from her, it worried her a lot if he was going to abort it again. She didn't mention him anything but he noticed the changes in her, nothing went unnoticed of his eyes. The next day, she was feeling very sick, her womb was upset for some reasons. She thought probably something she ate last night, she took her breakfast at the right time because she was pregnant and she didn't want to do any kind of negligence then after lunch she went to sleep. When she woke up, she saw her belly had a bandage on it, she cried out loud, what happened to her and her baby? Her husband came to her hurriedly to take a look what happened then she started to cry, asking him what happened to her baby then he sadly said she was unconscious in her sleep when he got back home, was soaking in blood he cleaned up everything, made her fresh then he checked her that she was going through miscarriage. He did what needed to do. He had to operate her at emergency case, it happened almost one week before she got back from her unconsciousness. She was crying like crazy, he couldn't even make her stop crying, he took her in his arms, hold her to his chest tightly with his strong hands, not letting her go but she wasn't wanting him to calm her down or touch her or feel sad or sorry for her then he had to make her sleep again.

Meanwhile, the distance between them were longing for closeness but it could not be halted. The hatred of her getting bigger day by day than their precious loving memories of acted love, it's how she was seeing by then. He didn't change a bit. Every night he came to her at the same time to share the bed with her. It seemed only she was interested to get married and having their own kids as a sample of precious monument or trophy for their love. She thought about her mother's house but it seemed a bad idea, he would be there instantly. She was getting sick of him, she started to blame him for everything, he was even done harm to her while saving others life with his heavenly touch. She got very frustrated with her life when she was thinking him as a murderer of her two kids and getting a divorce then she got pregnant again. In that time, she realised she had to move out to her mother's house. She was packing her things, feeling good of her pregnancy then her husband came up with a herbal tea for her. She didn't said a thing. He was saying that tea was from his client, it was newly blended with herbs and flowers, he didn't asked him anything but to feel thankful for the gift of kindness. She was watching her husband very carefully that evening, just like a good boy, he made the tea, prepared snacks for them, took them to terrace, called her to share that lovely evening, tea and snacks with her. She never saw her husband that much happy before, something good happened it seemed, a smear glimpse of kindness on his whole face as if he knew about her pregnancy. He was getting handsome charming man as she was newly known that evening. She changed her mind to hide it from him and leave him alone with his focused intelligence. She couldn't resist the temptation to share the good news with him about her third time pregnancy. He was surprised for a while, didn't understand what she was saying at first, with bit of a watery eyes, he came across over her to hold her, she didn't expect that kind of emotional response from him. She never saw him that emotional. That night remained to her as a memorable night till she had miscarriage again. Though it was not his fault but still she couldn't bear the coincidental accident. She filed a divorce and accused him for murder of her three child before having birth. She couldn't even touch or feel her babies because of him. She got her divorce from him, he didn't say a word during that time, he took all the responsibility to his capable shoulders, gave her everything she needed to enjoy her life without him but it didn't prove that he murdered them or he had any kind of problems with children or any psychological issues. He packed her things with his own hands, dropped her to her mother's house and left her there for forever. He did not ask or say to her anything just left her there. She wasn't expecting such a cold behaviour from him, it felt like chilled on her spine swaying by. She was not recovered yet from her three child deaths in a row. Father of her three child seemed suspiciously cold towards her feelings. That divorce was necessary for her or else she could not live with him in suspicious mind. She thought about their good times, those precious moments that made her smile every now and then, his comforts, his care whenever she lost her child, his abundant devotional love for her despite of being one of a kind in her eyes but still she had to do it. He never spent a single day or night without her after their marriage and now they were divorced. Ironically, she was missing his touch, his presence and his existence more than her children that she never been able to touch. She was trying to move on from him, the killer of her three child, exact that right moment she met her second love, yes, it seemed he was the right man to move on with. Beautiful, handsome, charming gentleman, socialist businessman, working for charity was his part time passionate job, he did many good deeds for those who needed helping hands but never tried to be a politician, weirdly true. He was just a good man with great deeds. She was nearly forgotten about her divorce with her previous lunatic husband when she was with him. Every weekend, they went to orphanage to teach them about various kinds of things, slowly but calmly being even notified to herself she was falling for him. She didn't mentioned to him about her previous relationship or losses of three kids. He was unknowingly recovering her emotional injuries without knowing her past. One day, he came to her at rainy night, it was very late, half past 12 o'clock when she was in her night gown. She was feeling very shy at first, thinking every types of outcomes of that circumstances when he told her he was feeling very lonely and came to provide her some times of his. She was so nervous that she could not understand what to say to him without welcoming him to her house. They spent the whole night talking about society, orphanage, various kinds of trainings but never talked about their previous relationship. That night was very precious to her. Nevertheless, they discussed about their every sixth month party to surprise their orphanage children. It was nearly a year that she moved to her mother's house, then she met her future to make others life more comforting. That small party for orphanage children was great, they all enjoyed a lot, even neighbourhood was invited to enjoy the small festival. There were painted story doodles board, swimming contest, fish catching contest, fast food corner of cakes, coffee and tea, icecream parlor, cakes and pastries, drinks and so on. All were done by his charitable hands, she was only a small hostess to make other comfortably welcoming. Kids were excited to make their own product to sale on the festival, nothing went out of board, every section was chosen by a lottery to serve. Everyone had to participate and needed to serve whatever they picked by luck. It was fun, they took two weeks to think about then draw it back to reality. The whole community enjoyed it very well and wanted to extend the mini festival but it was a party for a day. From morning to evening the festivities continued till the children were liberated to get prepare themselves for the late evening dinner party where they could eat whatever they wished for, dance to enjoy, watch movies to have some good memorable times. The whole day long, both of them could not have their own time to enjoy, when the children started to join the dinner party then they had their own moment. Both of them were little tired for staying till the party ends. He went to drop her in her home, stayed a little then she could not remember what happened, she remembered that nothing happened between them, they chit chat about the whole day's enjoyment, drank more than a little local drinks, too exhausted to even think about doing anything in that golden moment. She woke up in bed, in her gown, her late night party dress was hanging over her wardrobe, shoes in the corner, no sign of anything extraordinary or late night romance but then why could not she remember when did she leave him at the door. After that beautiful night, the night that she could not explain how beautifully gorgeous it was setup for the party. All the stalls were on the side walk of the field, in the middle the tables and chairs were seated, on the other side of the field the contests were arranged, the prizes were arranged to be given at the start of the dinner party. The dinner party was held inside the building at the hall, were foods and drinks arranged in a row like a buffet dinner, tables and chairs on the side, dancing floor was upfront of the hall, anyone could eat anything during the party or after the party, the movie theater was setup at the entrance. The whole place was shimmering with glittering shine with different colours of lighting systems from front gate to backyard, just like in the middle of the deep forest with colourful wild flowers, friendly animals, bubbles, wild forest fumes surrounded to make it mysteriously secret gatherings, where also there was a firework arrangements at the field, it was beautiful at one word, dreamy enough for the children, first movies then fireworks afterwards dancing floor and dinner arrangement. She loved it a lot, more than anyone of her husband's parties, none of them was like that. She had a wonderful time.

After that beautiful night, he gave her regular job in the orphanage, it was his orphanage, while he was busy with his overseas business he wanted someone to look after it with care and love. He could not find anyone but her. Then later, he went for his overseas business, he left for a long time, it was almost two months when she realised her periods were irregularly late, she was worried at first, she never showed anyone before or after her husband to any gynecologist, so she had to take an appointment of a physician where she learned that she was almost two months pregnant. She was shocked, stunned and stoned. When it was happened, she could not remember, after the party, that forgotten time or when, why did not he said anything to her before his long journey. Her temporal appearance of happiness flew by the surprising outcome of that beautiful memorable night. She took a deep breath and started to tale good care of herself. She was very happy by the surprise. A secret smile of admiration and gladness was within her, was developing as a proud mother. Last three unsuccessful birth of her babies didn't stayed to her that long, successfully sixth months flew away, she was very excited about her child, finally she was probably going to be a mother of a child. She was guessing it might be a boy just like his father. She couldn't realise, how fast those months passed by between her agony of past unsuccessful moments, feelings of first child abortion, then second child whole day's date with his or her mother then third child miscarriage after loving her dearest husband, that especial day when after a long time, she was feeling love for her husband, that day, he was looking beautiful, kind hearted depressed man, making love with him seemed like what he needed. She was not prepared to face the reality. Children that she dreamed to have with her beloved husband, the man who loved her so much, who took her beyond every limitations compared to him, she was happy but depressed at the same time. Whence the sixth months appeared then she started to prepare her orphanage party. Because of her pregnancy, she arranged it as a picnic party where children catch their own fish from nearby pond and cook it to themselves. The entire day was very excitingly tiresome for her. She couldn't forget her husband. The whole pregnancy period of times, she was missing him and their lost children who could have made them happiest family and couple. The dream that she saw with him was becoming true but with forgotten memory of having it with another man.The diary was ended at that moment. Moreover to that misery, my friend was sobbing in that dreadful ending because it didn't explain that her husband was the killer, it was all her emotional suspicions. In my small town medicines like sleeping pill or chemicals like acid could be founded with exchange of money at cheaper rates or could be stolen or could be a good free gift to their great friends from undying devotional friendship of any physician or pharmacist, that's why, my friend was frustrated about the reality. There were very keen evidences to be found as clear as mud. There were no finger prints or clues or anything, it was like someone came out from nowhere, made her unconscious then pregnant then again knocked her down to observe her infidelity with her baby inside. When the killer was convicting murder, no one was there and before lacerated the body, he or she made her unconscious, it was neat and clean slitten, the blood poured out from the body after opening it up, it wasn't stabbed to kill but a clean cut of a butcher. I asked him about her ex husband and present lover's whereabouts then he added he was trying to find them out. I was curious why would any of her lovers going to do that? Both of them very clumsily handled their relationship with her, without being or showing any emotions, they carried on their love affairs with her. There were no sign of suspicions between those two lovers. All was her own frustrations and creative suspicions. I was suggesting my police friend to look for another suspect beyond those two, both looking psychologically sound only she was the psychotic woman as far it seemed. Mentally upset and frustrated at the same time could do anything to harm their true beloved career. Both of them marvelously achievers, winners of life and only heir of their own successors. On the other hand, she was the devotional wife with no kids only a bed mate, a good audience of their own brilliance, nurturing motherly affectionate provider (because as we all know every man needs his mother to care their disputes) and a secure arm to whenever they wanted to laying on to but she was not an achiever of anything not even had her own baby from anyone of them. Eventually, life of her gone to unknown realm where she found her lover to mate and gained an accidental unwanted baby to surprise herself. She was the woman who belongs from hard earner society but still her limitations against her husband was the good reasons that she became a good housewife but not a career woman. Perhaps, somewhere in the corner of her mind she was obsess with the thought of unworthiness and a burden for her husband. She couldn't take it to herself that he loved her beyond her recessionary qualities and besides there was no other reasons behind it because they were not lovers. I was really alarmed to myself about her psychological problems that was unknown to everyone. Her mother was only lived as long as she was unmarried. She died the day before her marriage that's why it was ascertained to get married with him. She had no one to cry on, as the society claimed she needed a man to take care of her remorse at that sad lonely moment of time. I was feeling really drowsy to myself for my inconvenience. Nothing we could do about our limitations of justification. No clue or evidence to lead to anyone. Both men were successful in their own brilliance, no enemies of them but for her it might be contradictory. Someone was there who wasn't ready to see her own child but why? That's the main question. Her husband was very much in love with her but why did he take his own first born son's life by his own hand? Very intensifying and at the same time hideous. I went back to my welcoming sweet home for my own comfort. I couldn't do anything besides suggesting my police friend in his profession. He was like a dead man walking by her dead body as if she was his wife. He was there all along watched carefully everything, made sure that forensic officers could manage to take every single evidence if they find any, there should not be any left out to confide that certifiable nut craze. He was frustrated about the evidence collection. There was nothing, not even a knife or any sharp thing that was used to cut her through, no hidden blood prints, no additional fabric or hair fallen off from the killer or boot or shoe print, no witness who saw anyone or anything suspicious, nothing absolutely, it came from thin air killed her and then vanished. He even talked over the telephone with her husband and boyfriend, both of them were busy with their work overseas, there was no such flight or private plane was invented as fast that they could finished their work on time and came back to kill her then got back again to their work place.

Beforehand, absence of any suspicious evidence made them to close it down the case on temporary relief for the future emergence of cruel reality confrontation of evidence. Meanwhile, it was not necessary to make any kind of further disturbances in the civilized society where everyone enjoying their purity and justice. I asked my recently widower, my friend who was frustrated policeman, did he asked about her first child abortion, he said yes, he did, I added then what did he said in his defence, my friend was sullenly added, it was not a baby, it was a tumour in her belly that's been cured by him but he didn't say anything to her because she was excited about her first born child, her ex husband was speaking with him in his heavy voice to him, he and his ex wife had so many good time memories with their first unborn child that he didn't wanted her to find it out all wrong. But he showed his interest of seeing her dead body and said not to bury her and if possible not to operate any kind of postmortem even, he was coming in his next flight. Then I asked about her boyfriend, my friend was saying very sadly about the cruelty of life, then added he was not that much interested on her in that way, it's all her own thinking, he had his own girlfriend that he never spoke about because he maintained his private life very privately and no one he had that much close to him that with whom he could share about his girlfriend's news. He was getting ready to take his girlfriend and came back to town to meet her and get acquaintances but before that she was killed. I was feeling really bad for that lady, only the husband was the real lover and the second boyfriend was misunderstood husband before her death by her. Who could be so hateful towards her that didn't want her to have her own child? It seemed now nature was against her after the confession of her husband. All made up by her mind or it was altered after her death. Nothing was leading to the killer, no clue, no witness only death of an unfortunate normal and simple lady. This kinds of incident happened every now and then and closed as well, just the differences were in killing methods. Both of them being checked out by the police officers and their alibi were proven truth. After few days, her ex husband came to visit my friend, they spent the whole day and night together, both of them were in remorse, when he saw her dead body, he could not help himself holding his tears, he asked my friend what kind of a monster did that to her, it was outrageous, my friend was stood still in his silent sigh and asked him the same, but alas, awful truth of nature was hidden and later buried by her ex husband and my friend, I was there the whole time, watching her ex husband very carefully. He was a handsome man with all the goodness where gifted him by the nature, wealth and qualities of life, did he needed to do that to her ex wife who divorced him by herself, because of her suspicions, no, I guessed not, by any means never.

Moreover, he was still in love with his ex wife, did not involved with anyone or had any intention to do so, as far as I had known. Later on, we all accepted our own limitations and went back to where we all belonging to our home for safety.