End of Ends

What would you do if you knew the exact moment you would die? 

My name is Celine, I just turned eighteen, I am here to tell you a secret.

I never knew the impact of being healthy until it exploded on my face.

It was a bright cold day in December and the clocks were striking twelve, we were somewhere around Chicago on the edge of lake Michigan when difficulty breathing began to take hold.

It was the day I was diagnosed with (C.O.P.D) chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. A long-term progressive lung disease that makes breathing difficult.

I was born into a family of four, my parents divorced when I was ten, I followed my mother while my brother followed my father and for eight years I had only my mum.

My mother has been with the doctor for a long time now and I am beginning to get anxious about what news she will be bringing back.

I stayed stuck in my mini hospital room, there was a bed, medical equipment, monitors and iv tanks, oxygen delivery system, a nebulizer, an air filtration system and a chair for visitors.

I write this to you sitting on an oxygen tank, I wish I would be out of here soon.

 My mother came rushing into the room, I could see a drop of tears she was trying so hard to hide, even the blind would tell she has been crying for a long time.

I was still curious about the news she received from the doctor’s office. I still needed to know what was wrong with me, so I asked regardless. “Mama what did the doctor say?” but she didn’t reply. “Mum, you have to tell me, I am me so I should know what is wrong with me, the complication to my health, is there anything I would need to do or take to be able to leave this place, or something to avoid? Mama, you don’t have to worry, you know I’m good at taking my medications when I’m sick? But I still didn’t get a reply and that was the beginning of my frustration.

     “Mum! Say something, anything” I yelled, and my mother’s silent tears were exchanged into a loud scream “there is no cure for (C.O.P.D) its progression can only be slowed with medication, and you have to avoid closeness to other lung irritants. she finally said.

That was the last thing I heard.

I was breathless, wheezing, coughing and my chest became tighter and tighter. 

The airflow limitation in my lungs became more severe making it harder for me to breathe. I could see my mother trying so hard to pull me up with tears in eyes while screaming for help at the same time.