ON A DARE

*** Standing in front of the most popular boy in school was more nerve-wracking than I thought it would be, the butterfly fluttering through my tummy was almost unbearable, but being the brave girl I was, there was no stopping my love confession. The love letter clutched tightly felt wet as I thrust it toward him, a smile on my face.

"Ryan, I love..." My voice faded as he started laughing, his shoulders shaking really hard as if I was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. His friends joining in the laughter added more salt to my already bleeding heart.

Ryan stepped close to me, his face becoming monster-like. "I won't ever date someone as hideous as you and please try to brush your teeth, your breath fucking stinks," he said and the roar of laughter that followed floated right for me like darts of an arrow.

******

I jerked awake and cursed as my alarm shrilled through the room. "Fuck!" That was the most horrible moment of my life and why my subconscious choose to torture me with it so early in the morning was beyond me. Like I didn't cringe and shudder enough whenever I thought about it, I had to dream about it too. And Ryan was a jerk. My breath was fine and I looked nothing hideous, or maybe I did, but...

"I will survive, I will survive..." Um, what was the next part in that song? I looked up at the ceiling just waiting for inspiration to hit me and make me remember, but I was such a freaking wuss. I couldn't remember the next part even if I went on and had brain surgery. Wait, was that self-shaming?... fuck if I knew.

I turned around on my bed and tripped as my leg caught on the blanket wrapped around my ankles. I went down with an ump. My face smacked against the ground and I winced In pain. Great, just what I needed to make me feel alive.

"ugh. Can I just start one day like a normal person" I got out, trying to untangle myself?

My hair was like a volcano on my head, it was sticking up whichever way, all struggling to make a debut. I normally cut It short, but I've just let it be, so it's been growing out these few weeks.

I stared at the mess my room was, shuddering at the heap of clothes lying around sporadically over the room. I'll clean it tomorrow. Mind you, I've been saying that for a month now. I know, I know, I'm a chronic procrastinator, but come on, cleaning is so hard. You had to pick up the dirt, wash all the piles of clothes, and dust everywhere, who had the strength to do all that when you can just watch TV, listen to music, do assignments, and catch some fun.

I trudged to the bathroom, rubbing at my shin as I took up my toothpaste. I fumbled for the toothbrush, then proceeded to scope it on, but nothing came out of it. I peered at the sachet that looked like it had been mauled by a wild bear. Just kidding. It was freaking empty. I looked around the tiny space I stood in, taking more notice of my stuff on the vanity. Everything was finished, even my soap. What in the fucking world happened overnight.

"How can this even be real. I used them just yesterday right" I paused as I thought about the day before. "Or didn't I?". ugh, frustrating day ever. I turned on the faucet, but nothing came out. I made more animalistic noises in my throat, pressing harder on the offending object.

"Is this thing clogged again? life is so unfair. Now I have to use the bathroom downstairs." I whined. I quickly combed my hair, which still refused to be straightened despite all my love and attention. well, I'm just going to have to deal with it. Bitch hair. I rushed out of the bathroom, yanking the door open. My Mom_Jessica_ bless her soul, was standing right there, waiting as if on cue.

"It's about that time of the year," she got out like she didn't know what to do with all my problems. I don't know what to do with them either, so don't ask me. She shook her head, with an amused look on her face.

"It's an emergency this time. I promise, I'll pay back". I made prayer hands to sell the act, batting my lashes

She nodded at me like I was a lost cause. I think I might have an idea of what's going through her head, 'what did I do to deserve this. I feel the same way, mom.

She sighed, batting my hands down. "You don't have to pay me back. I am your mother baby. I've got you".

Oh my gosh, she's just the best. "I love you mom," I said hugging her fiercely, trying hard to bring out ugly tears. I don't succeed, but I think I got an A for the effort. She smiled before pulling me off.